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Eve Drewelowe's journals, volumes II-III, 1950s
Page 096
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to be believed. They were combining all the while to fool me and admittedly they succeeded some of the time. However, they thought they were a good bit more successful than they actually were. They would have been surprised had they known how very little I was taken in by their craftiness and guile. Some of the time I was highly entertained by their methods; often intensely amused at the humor of the situation; but frequently quite provoked as I had reason to be. That last week while I had been at St Mary's, I had been led to believe that I was free to go any time I wanted to. I was given to understand that an order had been written for my dismissal, and it was all up to me to set the time. The order written on the books was cleverly worded - "Van Ek - To be dismissed when patient is ready" - I made it a point to see the order for myself. Yet when I tried to leave the way was blocked. I accused the doctors of putting out dual purpose misleading statement with intent for deceptive purpose. That order might have been written for any patient, I told them, the moment he was admitted to the hospital. In the meantime while I was preparing to leave, I was told that Dr Rivers would be back at the Clinic on Friday afternoon. I was permitted to go down fairly early but I chewed my fingernails until quite late before the doctor was free to see me. Having been away from his office for several days he had had an especially hectic time that afternoon. He moreover was so obviously ill that he seemed relieved to defer my dismissal. He
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to be believed. They were combining all the while to fool me and admittedly they succeeded some of the time. However, they thought they were a good bit more successful than they actually were. They would have been surprised had they known how very little I was taken in by their craftiness and guile. Some of the time I was highly entertained by their methods; often intensely amused at the humor of the situation; but frequently quite provoked as I had reason to be. That last week while I had been at St Mary's, I had been led to believe that I was free to go any time I wanted to. I was given to understand that an order had been written for my dismissal, and it was all up to me to set the time. The order written on the books was cleverly worded - "Van Ek - To be dismissed when patient is ready" - I made it a point to see the order for myself. Yet when I tried to leave the way was blocked. I accused the doctors of putting out dual purpose misleading statement with intent for deceptive purpose. That order might have been written for any patient, I told them, the moment he was admitted to the hospital. In the meantime while I was preparing to leave, I was told that Dr Rivers would be back at the Clinic on Friday afternoon. I was permitted to go down fairly early but I chewed my fingernails until quite late before the doctor was free to see me. Having been away from his office for several days he had had an especially hectic time that afternoon. He moreover was so obviously ill that he seemed relieved to defer my dismissal. He
Iowa Women’s Lives: Letters and Diaries
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