DIY History | Transcribe | Iowa Women’s Lives: Letters and Diaries | Eve Drewelowe's journals, volumes II-III, 1950s

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Eve Drewelowe's journals, volumes II-III, 1950s

Page 173

In my life hither-to-fore I had ever accommodated myself to a regulation of others - according to the so called criteria of deportment - I being only a puppet in the whirlpool of life. So I generously adjusted myself so as to include all that which was expected of me, and obligingly did thus and so as others would have me. Despite the demands brought to bear I would paint for my own satisfaction and would make some time to do so. Evidently that was not enough. For in my existence "that which is good for the position" was seemingly always the key with consideration and sometimes "that which is good for Van." Yes undoubtedly if I were to conduct myself according to this and that activity, and if I were to do this, and so, it might questionably help to elevate a position. But I am not too sure that it ever worked effectively except to bring grief upon myself. Spreading oneself so thinly over 16 hours a day has doubtful positive consequence and promotes exactly nothing. Curiously it never occurred to anyone to wonder whether the having to engage in activities might be good for Eve. No one had ever considered that phaze of the story.
And anyway who cares about position? That is one of the three meaningless things in my opinion people scramble madly around about and murder each other for. One of the things that engenders jealousy and hate in this world. The other two are money and things - possessions - and social prestige. And there what do that have when you have them? They all seem so important to most people and mean so little to me. All last is to live with a measure of equanimity, and likewise let others also live. All I need is time to permit.
There - on the planet at least - a woman is supposed to be a teammate and reflect the glory that is her mans or her masters. That is fine and quite fair enough in a cooperative of average marriage and family of children, and perhaps just as it should be in the social order that would be ours. For the wife bears the children and to a large decree rears them, and spends the clack of her husband in doing so. The average housewife

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In my life hither-to-fore I had ever accommodated myself to a regulation of others - according to the so called criteria of deportment - I being only a puppet in the whirlpool of life. So I generously adjusted myself so as to include all that which was expected of me, and obligingly did thus and so as others would have me. Despite the demands brought to bear I would paint for my own satisfaction and would make some time to do so. Evidently that was not enough. For in my existence "that which is good for the position" was seemingly always the key with consideration and sometimes "that which is good for Van." Yes undoubtedly if I were to conduct myself according to this and that activity, and if I were to do this, and so, it might questionably help to elevate a position. But I am not too sure that it ever worked effectively except to bring grief upon myself. Spreading oneself so thinly over 16 hours a day has doubtful positive consequence and promotes exactly nothing. Curiously it never occurred to anyone to wonder whether the having to engage in activities might be good for Eve. No one had ever considered that phaze of the story. And anyway who cares about position? That is one of the three meaningless things in my opinion people scramble madly around about and murder each other for. One of the things that engenders jealousy and hate in this world. The other two are money and things - possessions - and social prestige. And there what do that have when you have them? They all seem so important to most people and mean so little to me. All last is to live with a measure of equanimity, and likewise let others also live. All I need is time to permit. There - on the planet at least - a woman is supposed to be a teammate and reflect the glory that is her mans or her masters. That is fine and quite fair enough in a cooperative of average marriage and family of children, and perhaps just as it should be in the social order that would be ours. For the wife bears the children and to a large decree rears them, and spends the clack of her husband in doing so. The average housewife