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Acolyte, vol 1, issue 3, whole 3, Spring 1943
Page 22
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I went ahead and made a fire, while he watched me, too weak to lift his head. Then I took some wild roses, garlic and copal from the pouch I carried and went to the altar. "No use to do that," he said, "our father there will not serve me. For fifty years now, I have not fed him for myself, only when I made prayer for others." "Still, let us feed him," I answered, putting the offerings before the cross, lighting a candle and setting it on the sweet-scented copal. "Do as you like," he said, "but it is no use. I know you are a good man, and your prayers are strong, but you cannot help me. Now go away." I thought that he did not want me to know the greatness of his sin, and also that he wished me to be out of harm's way, if Frankl should find me here. I was planning hard, for there was no way to help him unless he himself confessed to me. So I made myself stupid. "You talk strangely," I said. "Perhaps you have a fever. I shall stay with you." He hesitated. "There is danger here." "What danger?" I said. "I am old. Death is my uncle." He hesitated again, but he was fond of me, and at last he made himself say, "Frankl is coming." "How can that be?" I asked. "The Keepers of the Gate of our village have been famous. We have no sorcerers; Frankl dares not cross our boundaries." He closed his eyes, lying still and thinking. Then he said, "For many years, no one has watched the Gate for our people. No one has guarded them. There is no Keeper in this village." His voice was very weary. "Foolishly you talk," I said. "You and I, who are Zaras, know that there must be one among our relatives, even though we do not know who he may be." "There is none." He waited again, thinking. "I will tell you. You have some kind of power, I don't know what. And it is well to confess even though it be useless. I am the Keeper of the gate." "Well then...." I made myself surprised. "But I never took up my burden. I never did anything about it. Listen: I sold my soul; I made a bargain with Frankl. I, the Keeper of the Gate. I am accursed. Now he is coming for me. Go away and be safe." I shook my head. "Why do you think you are the Keeper?" He sighed. "Prop up my head, then. I shall tell you the whole story, and hope that you will go away then. "My father was Keeper of the Gate. There is no reason why I should not let you know that now. "I was unhappy when I was away. I was pretending to be German, and I really wanted to be roumi again. I counted on two things for my return; on my father, and that girl I wanted to marry, with whom I had spoken when she went to get water. With their help I should forget the evil magic; I should return to my kind. "But I came back to find my father dead and the girl married to Ladislas. I went to Ladislas's house; I sat by his fire. They were ill at ease, and sought to please me. While I was there, looking at that woman and seeing her bustling for another man, joined with him; my heart burned, my heart fought. Sitting there, I thought all my sorrows. There is no Keeper of the Gate, I thought, and I am a sorcerer. Then it came to me; it was I to whom my father's burden was given; it was I who should protect the village from sorcerers, from Frankl, from evil happenings on the roads. "I left hastily and I thought hard. I walked long by myself; I decided to repay myself for all that had happened to me, to punish -- 22 --
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I went ahead and made a fire, while he watched me, too weak to lift his head. Then I took some wild roses, garlic and copal from the pouch I carried and went to the altar. "No use to do that," he said, "our father there will not serve me. For fifty years now, I have not fed him for myself, only when I made prayer for others." "Still, let us feed him," I answered, putting the offerings before the cross, lighting a candle and setting it on the sweet-scented copal. "Do as you like," he said, "but it is no use. I know you are a good man, and your prayers are strong, but you cannot help me. Now go away." I thought that he did not want me to know the greatness of his sin, and also that he wished me to be out of harm's way, if Frankl should find me here. I was planning hard, for there was no way to help him unless he himself confessed to me. So I made myself stupid. "You talk strangely," I said. "Perhaps you have a fever. I shall stay with you." He hesitated. "There is danger here." "What danger?" I said. "I am old. Death is my uncle." He hesitated again, but he was fond of me, and at last he made himself say, "Frankl is coming." "How can that be?" I asked. "The Keepers of the Gate of our village have been famous. We have no sorcerers; Frankl dares not cross our boundaries." He closed his eyes, lying still and thinking. Then he said, "For many years, no one has watched the Gate for our people. No one has guarded them. There is no Keeper in this village." His voice was very weary. "Foolishly you talk," I said. "You and I, who are Zaras, know that there must be one among our relatives, even though we do not know who he may be." "There is none." He waited again, thinking. "I will tell you. You have some kind of power, I don't know what. And it is well to confess even though it be useless. I am the Keeper of the gate." "Well then...." I made myself surprised. "But I never took up my burden. I never did anything about it. Listen: I sold my soul; I made a bargain with Frankl. I, the Keeper of the Gate. I am accursed. Now he is coming for me. Go away and be safe." I shook my head. "Why do you think you are the Keeper?" He sighed. "Prop up my head, then. I shall tell you the whole story, and hope that you will go away then. "My father was Keeper of the Gate. There is no reason why I should not let you know that now. "I was unhappy when I was away. I was pretending to be German, and I really wanted to be roumi again. I counted on two things for my return; on my father, and that girl I wanted to marry, with whom I had spoken when she went to get water. With their help I should forget the evil magic; I should return to my kind. "But I came back to find my father dead and the girl married to Ladislas. I went to Ladislas's house; I sat by his fire. They were ill at ease, and sought to please me. While I was there, looking at that woman and seeing her bustling for another man, joined with him; my heart burned, my heart fought. Sitting there, I thought all my sorrows. There is no Keeper of the Gate, I thought, and I am a sorcerer. Then it came to me; it was I to whom my father's burden was given; it was I who should protect the village from sorcerers, from Frankl, from evil happenings on the roads. "I left hastily and I thought hard. I walked long by myself; I decided to repay myself for all that had happened to me, to punish -- 22 --
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