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The Alchemist, v. 1, issue 5, February 1941
Page 24
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24 ----- ALCHEMIST ----- RANDOM RAMBLINGS by Art Widner Jr If the "Ramblings" this time seem more on the order of a hurried trip thru a boiler factory, rather than the leisurely stroll I had anticipated, please forgive your old workhorse, as those two annoying puppies, Chuck and Lew, the alleged "editors" of this mag have been yapping around my feet in red rush the bovine Widner, which is quite useless. Widner has only two speeds: slow, and stop. ((Runs in second speed only)) Before we go any further, we would like to kill one of those vicious rumors, that the regular rumor killer, Hey Ping Pong, has somehow let get by. We know for a fact that Trudy Kuslan is not a vampire! Just because she ate practically nothing at the Chicon, certain alarmists and timid souls among fandom have tried to make this grounds for claiming that Kassie is a lady Dracula. She is entirely visible in a mirror, and betrays no unusual antipathy for garlic or onions. Speaking of the Ku-slan girl, here is a fact from which you can draw your own conclusions: (I say nothing, for I like both of them too well to incur their enmity) Neither El Singletone nor La Kuslan had a date for over a month after the Chicon...! ES plans to visit West Haven this coming Friday, Dec. 27. Hmmmmm. . . . . . No, Trudy is not a vampire, but I'm not so sure about Shroyer. During the Chicon week he lived on coffee, cigarettes, and whiskey. I didn't get a chance to apply the garlic test, but every time I
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24 ----- ALCHEMIST ----- RANDOM RAMBLINGS by Art Widner Jr If the "Ramblings" this time seem more on the order of a hurried trip thru a boiler factory, rather than the leisurely stroll I had anticipated, please forgive your old workhorse, as those two annoying puppies, Chuck and Lew, the alleged "editors" of this mag have been yapping around my feet in red rush the bovine Widner, which is quite useless. Widner has only two speeds: slow, and stop. ((Runs in second speed only)) Before we go any further, we would like to kill one of those vicious rumors, that the regular rumor killer, Hey Ping Pong, has somehow let get by. We know for a fact that Trudy Kuslan is not a vampire! Just because she ate practically nothing at the Chicon, certain alarmists and timid souls among fandom have tried to make this grounds for claiming that Kassie is a lady Dracula. She is entirely visible in a mirror, and betrays no unusual antipathy for garlic or onions. Speaking of the Ku-slan girl, here is a fact from which you can draw your own conclusions: (I say nothing, for I like both of them too well to incur their enmity) Neither El Singletone nor La Kuslan had a date for over a month after the Chicon...! ES plans to visit West Haven this coming Friday, Dec. 27. Hmmmmm. . . . . . No, Trudy is not a vampire, but I'm not so sure about Shroyer. During the Chicon week he lived on coffee, cigarettes, and whiskey. I didn't get a chance to apply the garlic test, but every time I
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