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Spacewarp, v. 5, issue 4, whole no. 28, July 1949
Page 11
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THE PSYCHO LAB hearkens unto WRAI BALLARD I was laying around the Embryonic Gardens with the other unborn babies, shooting the breeze in the usual fashion, when up steps this attendant. "Say, Bud," he says, "I thought you'd be interested to know that there's a mag that specializes in fantasy on the stands. Been out for a couple issues already." "Huh?" says I. "Why wasn't I notified at once? Quick, bring my stork!" I proceeded to rush around madly, went to Control Center and put in my application, and hounded the authorities. But you know how these things are. 3/4 of a year had passed before I got my stork ride. Old Doc Vinge slapped me on the back. "Where's this here fantasy mag?" I sez. He looked at me with the queer look I always receive when I mention fantasy to normal people. But then my uncle, an early fantasy fan, came in, eager to bring a new-comer into the fold. "Here it is," he quoth. "good, too." I looked at it. And then, and only then, did I let out the customary bawl. "I don't like WEIRD TALES! I wanna go back!" So I started on a hunger strike, and lost a couple pounds in the next couple weeks (no easy task when you weigh less than 7 pounds to start with.) All hope for me was given up, but then my uncle, with the intelligence natural to fan, brought back my interest in living. "Cripes!" he said, "you might as well stick around. Merritt's SHIP OF ISHTAR will be coming out towards the end of this year. More than that, Gernsback will be starting AMAZING in two years, and..." I interrupted. "What about Shaver?" I inquired cannily. "Oh," he says, you won't have to worry about him for about 20 years, and besides it will be a while before you learn to read, and then about that time a great new mag will be starting. They'll call it ASTOUNDING STORIES." "Sounds good," I admitted. "Guess I'll stick around." So I did. So life staggered on, and I learned to read. First book I ever read was TARZAN OF THE APES, followed by others of the TARZAN series. Read every stf mag I could mooch from my uncle, which was quite a few. About 1938, I finally started earning enough dough to get my own mags, and the trend reversed. Now I keep my uncle in mags. As things happen, I was growing up, sand soon found myself in high school. About my junior year, I got this notion to earn myself undying fame on the athletic fields. So I joined the football squad. As a footballer, I left much to be desired. I was (and am) extremely nearsighted, so in my first attempts at scrimmage, I stood peering at the fuzzy figures rushing around me, attempting to see who had the (11)
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THE PSYCHO LAB hearkens unto WRAI BALLARD I was laying around the Embryonic Gardens with the other unborn babies, shooting the breeze in the usual fashion, when up steps this attendant. "Say, Bud," he says, "I thought you'd be interested to know that there's a mag that specializes in fantasy on the stands. Been out for a couple issues already." "Huh?" says I. "Why wasn't I notified at once? Quick, bring my stork!" I proceeded to rush around madly, went to Control Center and put in my application, and hounded the authorities. But you know how these things are. 3/4 of a year had passed before I got my stork ride. Old Doc Vinge slapped me on the back. "Where's this here fantasy mag?" I sez. He looked at me with the queer look I always receive when I mention fantasy to normal people. But then my uncle, an early fantasy fan, came in, eager to bring a new-comer into the fold. "Here it is," he quoth. "good, too." I looked at it. And then, and only then, did I let out the customary bawl. "I don't like WEIRD TALES! I wanna go back!" So I started on a hunger strike, and lost a couple pounds in the next couple weeks (no easy task when you weigh less than 7 pounds to start with.) All hope for me was given up, but then my uncle, with the intelligence natural to fan, brought back my interest in living. "Cripes!" he said, "you might as well stick around. Merritt's SHIP OF ISHTAR will be coming out towards the end of this year. More than that, Gernsback will be starting AMAZING in two years, and..." I interrupted. "What about Shaver?" I inquired cannily. "Oh," he says, you won't have to worry about him for about 20 years, and besides it will be a while before you learn to read, and then about that time a great new mag will be starting. They'll call it ASTOUNDING STORIES." "Sounds good," I admitted. "Guess I'll stick around." So I did. So life staggered on, and I learned to read. First book I ever read was TARZAN OF THE APES, followed by others of the TARZAN series. Read every stf mag I could mooch from my uncle, which was quite a few. About 1938, I finally started earning enough dough to get my own mags, and the trend reversed. Now I keep my uncle in mags. As things happen, I was growing up, sand soon found myself in high school. About my junior year, I got this notion to earn myself undying fame on the athletic fields. So I joined the football squad. As a footballer, I left much to be desired. I was (and am) extremely nearsighted, so in my first attempts at scrimmage, I stood peering at the fuzzy figures rushing around me, attempting to see who had the (11)
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