DIY History | Transcribe | Hevelin Fanzines | Catalyst, issue 1, January 1943

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Catalyst, issue 1, January 1943

Page 5

"You young people have lived together compatibly for slightly over seven months?" Solomon persisted.

"Yes, sir."

"And now you are going to have a baby."

Solomon beamed.

"Your case has been fully investigated," he said. "There is no legal reason why you should not be united for life. If you will sign your names to this final degree, your marriage will be made final at once. Good day, and good luck."

As the happy couple went out, Miss Jones, the perfect secretary, ushered in the next pair.

"Elmer Struthers and Angela Mac Dougall?" inquired Solomon.

"Yes, Judge."

"Your probationary period is up today," observed the judge. "Mr. Struthers, you and your companion have tried to offer proof that you are compatible. Investigation by the Eugenics Bureau, however, shows that you have quarreled almost constantly since you entered into your marriage agreement. Certainly this puts a different complection on the entire case. The law forbids the marriage of incompatible persons. Therefore, your marriage agreement is canceled as of today. If you continue to live together, you will be held in contempt of court. This offense carries a penalty of one year in prison for both of you. Next case, Miss Jones."

The next couple came in.

"Jason Postehelwaite and Maureen Schwartwkopf, I believe," Solomon began. 

The young man affirmed this with a nod.

"You have completed three months of your probationary year," remarked the judge. "Now Mr. Posthelwaite has become interested in someone else, and wants to call the whole thing off. Mr. Posthelwaite, you have every right to do this. In fact, now that the court is aware of it, further companionship is forbidden. However, since Miss Schwartzkopf is not at present employed, you must pay her one half of your earnings for the remainder of your probationary year, as alimony. If Miss Schwartzkopf secures employment adequate for self-support, or enters into another marriage agreement, you are no longer responsible for her support. This way out, please."

Solomon flipped the communicator switch.

"Okay Solly, How's your score?"

Solomon threw out his chest a bit.

"A perfect 73, Miss Jones," he bragged modestly.

"Here is your party, Mr. Solomon," returned Miss Jones primly.

On the ground glass screen a genial old-young face, framed in snow-white hair appeared. Merry blue eyes twinkled. 

"Hiya, Solly," said the famous surgeon. "What's on your alleged mind?"

The great jurist grinned like a schoolboy.

"A perfect 73."

"I'll bet you tell that to all your friends," Winkler chuckled.

"I haven't had a single customer all morning. Your department keeps sick people from being born. I ought to protest to the government. You're ruining my business.

Saving...

"You young people have lived together compatibly for slightly over seven months?" Solomon persisted. "Yes, sir." "And now you are going to have a baby." Solomon beamed. "Your case has been fully investigated," he said. "There is no legal reason why you should not be united for life. If you will sign your names to this final degree, your marriage will be made final at once. Good day, and good luck." As the happy couple went out, Miss Jones, the perfect secretary, ushered in the next pair. "Elmer Struthers and Angela Mac Dougall?" inquired Solomon. "Yes, Judge." "Your probationary period is up today," observed the judge. "Mr. Struthers, you and your companion have tried to offer proof that you are compatible. Investigation by the Eugenics Bureau, however, shows that you have quarreled almost constantly since you entered into your marriage agreement. Certainly this puts a different complection on the entire case. The law forbids the marriage of incompatible persons. Therefore, your marriage agreement is canceled as of today. If you continue to live together, you will be held in contempt of court. This offense carries a penalty of one year in prison for both of you. Next case, Miss Jones." The next couple came in. "Jason Postehelwaite and Maureen Schwartwkopf, I believe," Solomon began. The young man affirmed this with a nod. "You have completed three months of your probationary year," remarked the judge. "Now Mr. Posthelwaite has become interested in someone else, and wants to call the whole thing off. Mr. Posthelwaite, you have every right to do this. In fact, now that the court is aware of it, further companionship is forbidden. However, since Miss Schwartzkopf is not at present employed, you must pay her one half of your earnings for the remainder of your probationary year, as alimony. If Miss Schwartzkopf secures employment adequate for self-support, or enters into another marriage agreement, you are no longer responsible for her support. This way out, please." Solomon flipped the communicator switch. "Okay Solly, How's your score?" Solomon threw out his chest a bit. "A perfect 73, Miss Jones," he bragged modestly. "Here is your party, Mr. Solomon," returned Miss Jones primly. On the ground glass screen a genial old-young face, framed in snow-white hair appeared. Merry blue eyes twinkled. "Hiya, Solly," said the famous surgeon. "What's on your alleged mind?" The great jurist grinned like a schoolboy. "A perfect 73." "I'll bet you tell that to all your friends," Winkler chuckled. "I haven't had a single customer all morning. Your department keeps sick people from being born. I ought to protest to the government. You're ruining my business.