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Damn Thing, v. 1, issue 2, December 1940

Page 7

THE DAMN THING     PAGE 7

the envelope, and commenced to read the letter:

Dear Mr. Archibald: We, the intellectual Brotherhood of Pro-Scientists, wish to WARN you that, upon reading and analysing the story in your magasine, to wit, "Fishfry on Luna", is anti-science! It is cynical stuff such as this that gives the public erroneous impressions about that GREAT force, SCIENCE! We wish to warn you that further anti-science will cause the Intellectual Brotherhood of Pro-Scientists to BLACKMAIL your magasine! Sincerely yours, Raymond Vander Hornblatten.

That night a bitterly dissappointed Archibald had horrible dreams. Marching across his body, he saw Gestunckelheim, hand in hand with Joe Stalin, and a whole host of YCL boys, ripping into his office and burning up his collection. When all this host had passed, a truck, with a large soap box, puted its way across his stomach, and in it was Petrogradovitch yelling at the top of his voice: "The 'Science Fiction Stink' doesn't agree with that great, democratic organisation!. New Fandom. I urge all New Fandom followers to BOYCOTT the SF Stink. This apperation was followed by a black--robed priesthood, lead by Hornblatten, which was posting big posters on all the science fiction fans' houses in the country. "The article 'Fishfry on Luna' in the S. F. Stink is ANTI-SCIENCE. Boycott the S.F. Stink!" Around midnight the inhabitants of the Archibald house heard one long, horrible scream.

The following morning came the crowing point. In riotous green and brown, a letter was received from Hollywood. The front, save for the address, was obscured by stickers. "Denver in 1941!" "ESPERANTO, la universalanguage. "Member--" and about ten of these. When Archibald opened the letter, he found it was from a Weedpatch J Schlacherman. It read: Bro Archy: Red ur mag & thnk's gud. All th articls vry ntrestn. Have U got latest copy th Voice-Madge? U must hav this 2 B an up-2-dayt fan. Also hav complete lyn uf old stf.-stuff 4 sayl. Drop me a lyn in ker uf Madj., Bx 6475 Met Sta, Losang. Scientifictionematiclyours, 4e.

So THIS was scientifiction! Archibald looked mournfully at the plans for the second issue of the S.F.Stink. Was that all his work? A bunch of illiterates, or else a mess of people with grudges on their backs. He tactfully threw his hectograph out the window, praying that if his someone, it would be a scientifiction fan.

SHROVER IS BACK

At the Hollowe'en Party on the eve of the same eve, Shangri-La welcomed back its wayward playboy. Dressed in his natural clothes, realist Shroyer walked in on the party quite by surprise.

Quote as cupidic as usual, Freddy, said the term being affectionately applied to the liquid Mr. Shroyer, was greeted with a sigh by the members, much in the same way as a person accepts something placidly which cannot be avoided. As soon as we get used to seeing our "realist" friend back, we'll turn Mr. Fassbeinder loose on him. A very amazing and slightly cock-eyed story should be the result.

In the meantime, we are angelling for the vast amount of litterary tallant which Shroyer is rumoured to possess, and by the fourth DAMN THING, at least, we should have something by the fellow. Remember "God Busters"?

Saving...

THE DAMN THING PAGE 7 the envelope, and commenced to read the letter: Dear Mr. Archibald: We, the intellectual Brotherhood of Pro-Scientists, wish to WARN you that, upon reading and analysing the story in your magasine, to wit, "Fishfry on Luna", is anti-science! It is cynical stuff such as this that gives the public erroneous impressions about that GREAT force, SCIENCE! We wish to warn you that further anti-science will cause the Intellectual Brotherhood of Pro-Scientists to BLACKMAIL your magasine! Sincerely yours, Raymond Vander Hornblatten. That night a bitterly dissappointed Archibald had horrible dreams. Marching across his body, he saw Gestunckelheim, hand in hand with Joe Stalin, and a whole host of YCL boys, ripping into his office and burning up his collection. When all this host had passed, a truck, with a large soap box, puted its way across his stomach, and in it was Petrogradovitch yelling at the top of his voice: "The 'Science Fiction Stink' doesn't agree with that great, democratic organisation!. New Fandom. I urge all New Fandom followers to BOYCOTT the SF Stink. This apperation was followed by a black--robed priesthood, lead by Hornblatten, which was posting big posters on all the science fiction fans' houses in the country. "The article 'Fishfry on Luna' in the S. F. Stink is ANTI-SCIENCE. Boycott the S.F. Stink!" Around midnight the inhabitants of the Archibald house heard one long, horrible scream. The following morning came the crowing point. In riotous green and brown, a letter was received from Hollywood. The front, save for the address, was obscured by stickers. "Denver in 1941!" "ESPERANTO, la universalanguage. "Member--" and about ten of these. When Archibald opened the letter, he found it was from a Weedpatch J Schlacherman. It read: Bro Archy: Red ur mag & thnk's gud. All th articls vry ntrestn. Have U got latest copy th Voice-Madge? U must hav this 2 B an up-2-dayt fan. Also hav complete lyn uf old stf.-stuff 4 sayl. Drop me a lyn in ker uf Madj., Bx 6475 Met Sta, Losang. Scientifictionematiclyours, 4e. So THIS was scientifiction! Archibald looked mournfully at the plans for the second issue of the S.F.Stink. Was that all his work? A bunch of illiterates, or else a mess of people with grudges on their backs. He tactfully threw his hectograph out the window, praying that if his someone, it would be a scientifiction fan. SHROVER IS BACK At the Hollowe'en Party on the eve of the same eve, Shangri-La welcomed back its wayward playboy. Dressed in his natural clothes, realist Shroyer walked in on the party quite by surprise. Quote as cupidic as usual, Freddy, said the term being affectionately applied to the liquid Mr. Shroyer, was greeted with a sigh by the members, much in the same way as a person accepts something placidly which cannot be avoided. As soon as we get used to seeing our "realist" friend back, we'll turn Mr. Fassbeinder loose on him. A very amazing and slightly cock-eyed story should be the result. In the meantime, we are angelling for the vast amount of litterary tallant which Shroyer is rumoured to possess, and by the fourth DAMN THING, at least, we should have something by the fellow. Remember "God Busters"?