Transcribe
Translate
Fan Slants, v. 1, issue 1, September 1943
Page 21
More information
digital collection
archival collection guide
transcription tips
FAN SLANTS............................................................21 [title in bubble letters] Will Bronson Replace the Octopus? [author's name in smaller print] By Lothar Penguin THIS STRANGE trend of thought first formulated itself when I dip-ped my spoon into a cup of coffee at the Saint Paul Coffee Shop (which is a hang-out for hungry LASFS members), and came up with a small, dripping thistle on the end of it. The thistle looked like Bronson. The little germ thus implanted in my mind lay dormant for some time, but one day while lolling on the sands at the Santa Monica Beach, I observed an octopus come out of the surf and wave some ema-ciated arms at some shapely girls, frightening them severely. Bronson does the same thing. However, the final argument that puts Bronson in a position to replace the octopus, in case the need should ever arise, occurred one night when the LASFS was fixing up its newly acquired club room. Four members of the group were obliged to make a long trip to the other end of town to acquire a curtain rod. Crowded as they were in the interior of the coupe in which they were riding, they were obliged to hold the long rod on the outside of the vehicle. [Cartoon illustration on the right side of this paragraph. Illustration shows an octopus in the water and a woman on the beach running away; the octopus is saying, maybe whistling, "Phwee-Phewooo!" The woman is saying "EEEK."] As one who has been in a similar position should know, iron rods have a tendency to gather weight as one pro-gresses. For this reason, the original holder of the rod began to complain that his hand had fallen asleep on the watch and would Bron-son kindly hold it for a moment. Bronson obliged. Soon he began to complain that his tentacle hand likewise frozen. And so the fourth occupant endeavored to relieve Bronson. There were now two arms in-volved. The original, his arm having awakened, reached over the shoulder of the fourth occupant, with the result that shortly eight or ten arms were waiving around outside in the breeze, clutching at each other and the rod. It is rumored that five or six of them were Bron-son's. Not only was Bronson frenziedly pulling at his own arms, but several other arms were clutching the same of the first, second and fourth occupants of the car. The coupe was weaving in and out of traffic while four would-be slans were struggling desperately inside with the monstrosity named Bronson. He was finally put back in his box where he squeaked con-tentedly to himself. It seems, then, that Bronson is the ideal successor to the octopus. Down in our city of Penguinopolis, the scientists have been expressing grave alarm over what is to replace the octopus. Is there going to be
Saving...
prev
next
FAN SLANTS............................................................21 [title in bubble letters] Will Bronson Replace the Octopus? [author's name in smaller print] By Lothar Penguin THIS STRANGE trend of thought first formulated itself when I dip-ped my spoon into a cup of coffee at the Saint Paul Coffee Shop (which is a hang-out for hungry LASFS members), and came up with a small, dripping thistle on the end of it. The thistle looked like Bronson. The little germ thus implanted in my mind lay dormant for some time, but one day while lolling on the sands at the Santa Monica Beach, I observed an octopus come out of the surf and wave some ema-ciated arms at some shapely girls, frightening them severely. Bronson does the same thing. However, the final argument that puts Bronson in a position to replace the octopus, in case the need should ever arise, occurred one night when the LASFS was fixing up its newly acquired club room. Four members of the group were obliged to make a long trip to the other end of town to acquire a curtain rod. Crowded as they were in the interior of the coupe in which they were riding, they were obliged to hold the long rod on the outside of the vehicle. [Cartoon illustration on the right side of this paragraph. Illustration shows an octopus in the water and a woman on the beach running away; the octopus is saying, maybe whistling, "Phwee-Phewooo!" The woman is saying "EEEK."] As one who has been in a similar position should know, iron rods have a tendency to gather weight as one pro-gresses. For this reason, the original holder of the rod began to complain that his hand had fallen asleep on the watch and would Bron-son kindly hold it for a moment. Bronson obliged. Soon he began to complain that his tentacle hand likewise frozen. And so the fourth occupant endeavored to relieve Bronson. There were now two arms in-volved. The original, his arm having awakened, reached over the shoulder of the fourth occupant, with the result that shortly eight or ten arms were waiving around outside in the breeze, clutching at each other and the rod. It is rumored that five or six of them were Bron-son's. Not only was Bronson frenziedly pulling at his own arms, but several other arms were clutching the same of the first, second and fourth occupants of the car. The coupe was weaving in and out of traffic while four would-be slans were struggling desperately inside with the monstrosity named Bronson. He was finally put back in his box where he squeaked con-tentedly to himself. It seems, then, that Bronson is the ideal successor to the octopus. Down in our city of Penguinopolis, the scientists have been expressing grave alarm over what is to replace the octopus. Is there going to be
Hevelin Fanzines
sidebar
