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D'Journal, v. 1, issue 1, January 1939
Page 9
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"THE GREAT MARTIAN INVASION OF OCTOBER 30, 1938!"-by Hoy Ping Pong "Ladies and gentlemen, we are interrupting this program of dance music to bring you a special news flash! Fourteen minutes ago, the Podunk Observatory in Podunk, Illinois reported seeing several big flashes of fire on the planet Mars! We have just now received word that those flashes of fire were rocket ships taking off for Earth with a cargo of soldiers and bombs! They plan to invade New York!" "Maw, maw did you here that? Oh Maw! Grab you coat Maw and bring all the blankets you can. Get Junior Maw, were hiking for the hills! The Martians are coming! I got a shotgun loaded. Come on Maw, that there radio-feller says they will be here any minnut now." "Ladies and gentleman, another news flash: The Martians have landed in Gooseberry, Ohio! Nine hugh rocket ships have defied gravity and set down upon the Ohioian plains! Flee for your skins! The Martians are coming!" "Maw, oh Maw! Fer gosh sakes Maw, did you hear that? He says them Martians are landing at Gooseberry--why Maw, that only about two miles away----MAW! I see lights out in the pasture! Hide Maw, get Junior under the bed, here come the Martians!" The double-barrelled shotgun: "Ba-ram! Ba-room! Heheheheh, take that your dirty Martains! Goody, I aint had so much fun since Grandpap took me thru the Blackhawk wars. B-room! Ha! Another Martian bit the dust!" The announcer: "Flash! The Martians are advancing over the countryside. Several telephone calls from the stricken area have reported hugh monsters trampling houses and barns underfoot. Dozens of people are dead already! Poison gas and Martian Flame is preading everywhere devasting crops! The Guard is being called out'. Flee for your lives!" The farmer: "Maw, hear that? There gittin closer! I can hear 'em hear funny bells ringing. Now there! behind the barn. The dirty skonks! Why d ont they stay on Mars! Dont they know the unemployment problem is tough enough now! Maw, wheres Junior?" The shotgun: "Bam! B-rooom! Aha! Another Martian shall never swim in the old canal no more! Boom!" The announcer: "Flash! The Martians have reported taken over the little town of Gooseberry, Ohio. The carnage is awful! Army flyers report the flames are miles high! Embattled farmers are holding out for their lives. The army has given up all hope of rescueing them, so thick are the Martians in that area! Gas and flame is spreading everywhere. A vanguard of Martians have been sighted approaching New York! Flee for your lives!" The farmer: "Maw, hear that? They're heading fer Noo Yawk now! Far gosh sakes! Well, Maw, I guess the end of the world has come! I wont laugh at them science fiction magazines Junior brings home any more. Maw, is Junior up there? WHAT! You say he aint! You say he went out to have a look at the Martians! Maw! We'll never see poor Junior alive again!" The shotgun: "Boom. By the rings of Saturn, so they got Junior eh? Well, serves him right. He was always trying to melt me down and make a ray-gun outta me anyway! Ba-ram! If it wasnt for the old man here and Maw upstairs, derned if I would quit, and go have a look at the critters myself---whoa---who's that running up the walk? Why its Junior! He aint hurt at all! Gosh, he's excited, I wonder whats the matter?" Junior: "Paw, Paw, stop shooting! Maw, come down, there aint no Martians! Paw, stop shooting. Ding it, you just killed two of our best milk cows!" (END)
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"THE GREAT MARTIAN INVASION OF OCTOBER 30, 1938!"-by Hoy Ping Pong "Ladies and gentlemen, we are interrupting this program of dance music to bring you a special news flash! Fourteen minutes ago, the Podunk Observatory in Podunk, Illinois reported seeing several big flashes of fire on the planet Mars! We have just now received word that those flashes of fire were rocket ships taking off for Earth with a cargo of soldiers and bombs! They plan to invade New York!" "Maw, maw did you here that? Oh Maw! Grab you coat Maw and bring all the blankets you can. Get Junior Maw, were hiking for the hills! The Martians are coming! I got a shotgun loaded. Come on Maw, that there radio-feller says they will be here any minnut now." "Ladies and gentleman, another news flash: The Martians have landed in Gooseberry, Ohio! Nine hugh rocket ships have defied gravity and set down upon the Ohioian plains! Flee for your skins! The Martians are coming!" "Maw, oh Maw! Fer gosh sakes Maw, did you hear that? He says them Martians are landing at Gooseberry--why Maw, that only about two miles away----MAW! I see lights out in the pasture! Hide Maw, get Junior under the bed, here come the Martians!" The double-barrelled shotgun: "Ba-ram! Ba-room! Heheheheh, take that your dirty Martains! Goody, I aint had so much fun since Grandpap took me thru the Blackhawk wars. B-room! Ha! Another Martian bit the dust!" The announcer: "Flash! The Martians are advancing over the countryside. Several telephone calls from the stricken area have reported hugh monsters trampling houses and barns underfoot. Dozens of people are dead already! Poison gas and Martian Flame is preading everywhere devasting crops! The Guard is being called out'. Flee for your lives!" The farmer: "Maw, hear that? There gittin closer! I can hear 'em hear funny bells ringing. Now there! behind the barn. The dirty skonks! Why d ont they stay on Mars! Dont they know the unemployment problem is tough enough now! Maw, wheres Junior?" The shotgun: "Bam! B-rooom! Aha! Another Martian shall never swim in the old canal no more! Boom!" The announcer: "Flash! The Martians have reported taken over the little town of Gooseberry, Ohio. The carnage is awful! Army flyers report the flames are miles high! Embattled farmers are holding out for their lives. The army has given up all hope of rescueing them, so thick are the Martians in that area! Gas and flame is spreading everywhere. A vanguard of Martians have been sighted approaching New York! Flee for your lives!" The farmer: "Maw, hear that? They're heading fer Noo Yawk now! Far gosh sakes! Well, Maw, I guess the end of the world has come! I wont laugh at them science fiction magazines Junior brings home any more. Maw, is Junior up there? WHAT! You say he aint! You say he went out to have a look at the Martians! Maw! We'll never see poor Junior alive again!" The shotgun: "Boom. By the rings of Saturn, so they got Junior eh? Well, serves him right. He was always trying to melt me down and make a ray-gun outta me anyway! Ba-ram! If it wasnt for the old man here and Maw upstairs, derned if I would quit, and go have a look at the critters myself---whoa---who's that running up the walk? Why its Junior! He aint hurt at all! Gosh, he's excited, I wonder whats the matter?" Junior: "Paw, Paw, stop shooting! Maw, come down, there aint no Martians! Paw, stop shooting. Ding it, you just killed two of our best milk cows!" (END)
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