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D'Journal, v. 1, issue 1, January 1939

Page 11

"Why the 'Science Fiction Fan' was Banned in Pataginia !" 
- by the Denver Wiggins

Perhaps I should not reveal this amazing story; after all, it was censored in the Patagonian press, and the Diplomatic corpse kept it suppressed here.  But then, the Fantasy Fan is entitled to know, and I can rely on them to keep a secret, so here in the whole Weird Tale: 

In the beginning I desired a stepping stone to glory, a stupendous Phantastique movement that would perpetuate my name forever in the annals of Science Fiction Fandom. I cast about for a suitable method. Eureka! I had a daring plot! coming up in a few months was the 2nd anniversary issue of my magazine, the 'Science Fiction Fan'. I would use it for my propagandic purposes. I plotted carefully. 

The thing to do would be to reveal a gigantic secret of Fnadom. Something fans and authors had been sreacching for for years. And then, Saturnia! I found it! Egad, what Imagination it took to expose that stupendous cosmic secret in all its delicate detail! Atomic power? No! Space flight? No! Time Travel? NO! What then? This: The secret to the Earth's Core! I knew where the entrance was! I knew how and where to get to the middle of the Earth!

I hibernated for weeks! My wife though she was a divorcee. My kids thought pappy had eloped with Demon Rum. And then I emerged from my dank cellar with the Anniversary issue dripping in my hands! And in the pages off that fateful issue was revealed the secret! Oh it took cunning. I did not want every will-nilly readers dashing to the center of the earth. So I devised it so that only the smart, intelligent fans could decipher the key; I printed the secret between the lines! To keep the dopey dodo's from finding the key and gaining the entrance, laid a cunning trap for them. Those that fell in to the trap found themselves out in space, out of luck. Those that avoided the trap found the entrance to the center of the Earth, In Patagonia, by reading between the lines of the material in that Anniversary issue! And then the trouble began! 

By some insidious method, a denizen of the underworld got a copy of the 'Fan', and reading the key, skillfully reversed it and merged into the outer world! Horrors! Imagine the incredulous looks on the faces of the fans packed around that door, strining to open it, when suddenly it should open from the inside and a strange creature of the world under the surface step out, with packed suitcase in hand. Jim Avery fainted. And then the thing spoke: 

"Hello Wiggings", (it singled out me!), "say, are you the bird who publishes the 'Sciencee Fiction Fan'. Whats the idea.....pages 31 and 32 of my copy are so faint I cant read them!" 

Astounding? I'll say it was. Michel gave one look and fave up his Michelism, seeing that this is what it had brought. Madle tried to ray gun the thing, but his ray was of the wrong color to enter the things skin. Speer cocked a cynical head aside and leered: "Paid your entry tax buddy?.... I'm with the Gov'ment, ya know!"  . Ackerman asked the stranger if it was interested in Esperanto. Hornig asked it to join the League and be the first 'under-seas' member. "Cant be done!" exploded Taurasi. "Motions out of order!"  . "Yes", yesssed Wollheim. "its very undemocratic very." Sykora extended an invitation to join his Amalgamated Science Fiction Amalgamation. Tucker asked him for an autograph. The came the climax! Why all this was going on, the creature was starring as in Marvel. Then....it laid eyes on Harry Warner! And its reasoning snapped! And it turned and ran screaming back down the tunnel it had just came from!

(End)

Saving...

"Why the 'Science Fiction Fan' was Banned in Pataginia !" - by the Denver Wiggins Perhaps I should not reveal this amazing story; after all, it was censored in the Patagonian press, and the Diplomatic corpse kept it suppressed here. But then, the Fantasy Fan is entitled to know, and I can rely on them to keep a secret, so here in the whole Weird Tale: In the beginning I desired a stepping stone to glory, a stupendous Phantastique movement that would perpetuate my name forever in the annals of Science Fiction Fandom. I cast about for a suitable method. Eureka! I had a daring plot! coming up in a few months was the 2nd anniversary issue of my magazine, the 'Science Fiction Fan'. I would use it for my propagandic purposes. I plotted carefully. The thing to do would be to reveal a gigantic secret of Fnadom. Something fans and authors had been sreacching for for years. And then, Saturnia! I found it! Egad, what Imagination it took to expose that stupendous cosmic secret in all its delicate detail! Atomic power? No! Space flight? No! Time Travel? NO! What then? This: The secret to the Earth's Core! I knew where the entrance was! I knew how and where to get to the middle of the Earth! I hibernated for weeks! My wife though she was a divorcee. My kids thought pappy had eloped with Demon Rum. And then I emerged from my dank cellar with the Anniversary issue dripping in my hands! And in the pages off that fateful issue was revealed the secret! Oh it took cunning. I did not want every will-nilly readers dashing to the center of the earth. So I devised it so that only the smart, intelligent fans could decipher the key; I printed the secret between the lines! To keep the dopey dodo's from finding the key and gaining the entrance, laid a cunning trap for them. Those that fell in to the trap found themselves out in space, out of luck. Those that avoided the trap found the entrance to the center of the Earth, In Patagonia, by reading between the lines of the material in that Anniversary issue! And then the trouble began! By some insidious method, a denizen of the underworld got a copy of the 'Fan', and reading the key, skillfully reversed it and merged into the outer world! Horrors! Imagine the incredulous looks on the faces of the fans packed around that door, strining to open it, when suddenly it should open from the inside and a strange creature of the world under the surface step out, with packed suitcase in hand. Jim Avery fainted. And then the thing spoke: "Hello Wiggings", (it singled out me!), "say, are you the bird who publishes the 'Sciencee Fiction Fan'. Whats the idea.....pages 31 and 32 of my copy are so faint I cant read them!" Astounding? I'll say it was. Michel gave one look and fave up his Michelism, seeing that this is what it had brought. Madle tried to ray gun the thing, but his ray was of the wrong color to enter the things skin. Speer cocked a cynical head aside and leered: "Paid your entry tax buddy?.... I'm with the Gov'ment, ya know!" . Ackerman asked the stranger if it was interested in Esperanto. Hornig asked it to join the League and be the first 'under-seas' member. "Cant be done!" exploded Taurasi. "Motions out of order!" . "Yes", yesssed Wollheim. "its very undemocratic very." Sykora extended an invitation to join his Amalgamated Science Fiction Amalgamation. Tucker asked him for an autograph. The came the climax! Why all this was going on, the creature was starring as in Marvel. Then....it laid eyes on Harry Warner! And its reasoning snapped! And it turned and ran screaming back down the tunnel it had just came from! (End)