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Funtasy, v. 1, issue 1, Supplement 1, 1939

Page 3

FUNTASY
MR. GLERBER AND THE MERMAIDS
BY Messieurs Dick WIlson & Cyril Kornbluth
FUNTASY offers this at its face value. We refuse to take sides.
#
He was a little man, with a striped bathing suit, and as he sat on the beach eating salt water taffy, two mermaids came from the sea and sat beside him. 
"My name," said the first, "is Amanda."
"My name," said the second, "is Gretchen." "My name," said the little man, "is Otto. Otto Glerber, I sell farm implements. Have some taffy?"
They took some; and remarked on its sweetness. "We have nothing of this kind Down There," said Gretchen. "Only," sadly; "seaweed."  "Seaweed," said Otto. "Ah. Like spinach."  "Yes," said Amanda. "Only sandier. And every so often, you get to a section that goes 'pop!'"  "Once," Mr. Glerber confided, "I said to myself that some day I must eat seaweed. I said to myself: 'I bet it tastes like spinach.' "  "Yes," said Amanda. "Only sandier."  "I didn't say that," Mr. Glerber said a bit testily. "I just said to myself: 'I bet it tastes like spinach.', that's what I said."  "Sorry," said Amanda. There was a moment of silence. "Well, Amanda," Gretchen suggested. "perhaps we'd better be going."  "Yes, I think we'd better," agreed Amanda.  "Goodbye, Mr. Glarber."  "Glerber," he said. "With an 'e'. I don't suppose you'd like it if I pronounced your name Amandy?"  "That's what my boy-friend calls me sometimes," she said. "Well, goodbye, Mr. Glerber."  "Goodbye, girls," he said. "Here--have one of my cards."  "Thank you Mr. Glerber," said Gretchen.  "Goodbye."  "Goodbye," said Mr. Glerber.


PHUNTASY PHIZ-QUIZ continued....
7. The FAPA is an organization devoted to: Bootlegging, cutting your throat for fun, cootie-killing, washing behind the ears.
8. The No. 1 member of the old SFL (remember when ?) is: a. resting on his laurels
b. the genius behind MARVEL
c. is staging a comeback
d. no, --and besides that ain't nice!
9. Unscramble the following fans: RAMKANCE, ELMOWHIL, TRAMOTCEEN.
10. One of the following did not appear in AMAZING STORIES:
a. THE SECRET OF THE OBSERVATORY
b. THE SECRET OF THE BURIED CITY
c. THE SECRET OF THE PYRAMID
d. THE SECRET OF THE GIANT SALES

The PHUNTASY PHIZ-QUIZ, the most popular feature in FUNTASY, will be continued in D'JOURNAL....

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FUNTASY MR. GLERBER AND THE MERMAIDS BY Messieurs Dick WIlson & Cyril Kornbluth FUNTASY offers this at its face value. We refuse to take sides. # He was a little man, with a striped bathing suit, and as he sat on the beach eating salt water taffy, two mermaids came from the sea and sat beside him. "My name," said the first, "is Amanda." "My name," said the second, "is Gretchen." "My name," said the little man, "is Otto. Otto Glerber, I sell farm implements. Have some taffy?" They took some; and remarked on its sweetness. "We have nothing of this kind Down There," said Gretchen. "Only," sadly; "seaweed." "Seaweed," said Otto. "Ah. Like spinach." "Yes," said Amanda. "Only sandier. And every so often, you get to a section that goes 'pop!'" "Once," Mr. Glerber confided, "I said to myself that some day I must eat seaweed. I said to myself: 'I bet it tastes like spinach.' " "Yes," said Amanda. "Only sandier." "I didn't say that," Mr. Glerber said a bit testily. "I just said to myself: 'I bet it tastes like spinach.', that's what I said." "Sorry," said Amanda. There was a moment of silence. "Well, Amanda," Gretchen suggested. "perhaps we'd better be going." "Yes, I think we'd better," agreed Amanda. "Goodbye, Mr. Glarber." "Glerber," he said. "With an 'e'. I don't suppose you'd like it if I pronounced your name Amandy?" "That's what my boy-friend calls me sometimes," she said. "Well, goodbye, Mr. Glerber." "Goodbye, girls," he said. "Here--have one of my cards." "Thank you Mr. Glerber," said Gretchen. "Goodbye." "Goodbye," said Mr. Glerber. PHUNTASY PHIZ-QUIZ continued.... 7. The FAPA is an organization devoted to: Bootlegging, cutting your throat for fun, cootie-killing, washing behind the ears. 8. The No. 1 member of the old SFL (remember when ?) is: a. resting on his laurels b. the genius behind MARVEL c. is staging a comeback d. no, --and besides that ain't nice! 9. Unscramble the following fans: RAMKANCE, ELMOWHIL, TRAMOTCEEN. 10. One of the following did not appear in AMAZING STORIES: a. THE SECRET OF THE OBSERVATORY b. THE SECRET OF THE BURIED CITY c. THE SECRET OF THE PYRAMID d. THE SECRET OF THE GIANT SALES The PHUNTASY PHIZ-QUIZ, the most popular feature in FUNTASY, will be continued in D'JOURNAL....