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Scientifictionist, issue 2, after 1945
Page 19
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DEDUCTION by Evan Edwards "Now don't get me wrong, Fellers," Bill Staut was saying. "I ain't got nuthin' agin eddication. Wish't I had more on it myself." He paused to take a swig at his glass, while his audience sat in the silent tribute that befitted a member of the first crew to make a successful round trip to Mars. "All I'm trying to tell you," Bill continued, "is that sometimes a feller kin git so much eddication that he can't see nuthin' that is plain as the nose of yer face. Like the Spec-Techs (#) on our ship. "The Neffeff got to Mars without no trouble to speak of, an found nothin' but desert at first. After we had cruised around a bit, we saw some ruins, and stopped there to see what we could make of them." No-one appeared to notice that "we", rather incongruous, since Bill was but a tube-cleaner on the Slanship. "We camped there for nigh on to two months, while the Big Boys were huntin' through that big ruined city -- must a bin as big as St. Louis, maybe. They hunted an' dug an' puzzled over the things that they could find, but hadn't bin able to make head ner tail outta anything. "We had a feller on the ship named Jack Speed. ((!!!)) Kinda jack-o-all-trades, he were. Could fix anything mechanical, from an induction-heated cooking pot to the main a-tomic generators theirselves. Didn't have much eddication but he sure knew machines an tools. That's why he was along -- to fix anything an' ever'thing that needed fixin'. "Well, one evenin' we heard the Big Boys talking about a new buildin' they'd found, that seemed in better condishun than most. They was sure they could tell sumpin' about them there Martians from what they could find in there. "But a week or so went by, an they hadn't made no finds. Then it happened that their portable lights went flooie, and Jack was called out to fix 'em fer 'em. First time he'd be offa the ship." He paused to fix an injured-looking glance on his empty glass, and someone in the crowd immediately signaled the barkeep to fill it. After a healthy swig Bill went on. "Jack fixed the lights, all right, in jig time, an' then sorta wandered around the buildin' lookin' things over. After awhile, he stopped where the crowd of Spec-Techs was lookin' at the ree-mains of a machine, er sumpin'. They were agguifying at the top of their lungs, and no two on 'em could agree, 'cept that none of 'em really knew what it was all about. "Jack listened awhile, an' then coughed sorta apologetically, an' said, 'Gentlemen, this was either a small factory or a machine shop, and that was some sort of lathe'. "They all looks at him in astonishment, an' then one of em said, 'I suppose you can also tell us what the Martians looked like?' "Jack sorta grinned, an' said, "Well, not 'zactly, but they were taller than we are, an' had seven fingers.' "They went wile then, and hollered an' yelled at him. Finally the Chief Spec-Tech asked him how he knew. "'Nothin' much to it if you've been around machine shops an' factories all your life like I have,' Jack answered civilly. 'The arrangement of the ruins of the machines here would tell you they were set in aisles at the most economical way, like they are in factories and shops. Then there are some ree-mains of little curly-que metal shavings on the floor here, so this must have been a lathe ----------------------- (#) Spec-Techs -- common nickname for Specialist-Technicians page 19
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DEDUCTION by Evan Edwards "Now don't get me wrong, Fellers," Bill Staut was saying. "I ain't got nuthin' agin eddication. Wish't I had more on it myself." He paused to take a swig at his glass, while his audience sat in the silent tribute that befitted a member of the first crew to make a successful round trip to Mars. "All I'm trying to tell you," Bill continued, "is that sometimes a feller kin git so much eddication that he can't see nuthin' that is plain as the nose of yer face. Like the Spec-Techs (#) on our ship. "The Neffeff got to Mars without no trouble to speak of, an found nothin' but desert at first. After we had cruised around a bit, we saw some ruins, and stopped there to see what we could make of them." No-one appeared to notice that "we", rather incongruous, since Bill was but a tube-cleaner on the Slanship. "We camped there for nigh on to two months, while the Big Boys were huntin' through that big ruined city -- must a bin as big as St. Louis, maybe. They hunted an' dug an' puzzled over the things that they could find, but hadn't bin able to make head ner tail outta anything. "We had a feller on the ship named Jack Speed. ((!!!)) Kinda jack-o-all-trades, he were. Could fix anything mechanical, from an induction-heated cooking pot to the main a-tomic generators theirselves. Didn't have much eddication but he sure knew machines an tools. That's why he was along -- to fix anything an' ever'thing that needed fixin'. "Well, one evenin' we heard the Big Boys talking about a new buildin' they'd found, that seemed in better condishun than most. They was sure they could tell sumpin' about them there Martians from what they could find in there. "But a week or so went by, an they hadn't made no finds. Then it happened that their portable lights went flooie, and Jack was called out to fix 'em fer 'em. First time he'd be offa the ship." He paused to fix an injured-looking glance on his empty glass, and someone in the crowd immediately signaled the barkeep to fill it. After a healthy swig Bill went on. "Jack fixed the lights, all right, in jig time, an' then sorta wandered around the buildin' lookin' things over. After awhile, he stopped where the crowd of Spec-Techs was lookin' at the ree-mains of a machine, er sumpin'. They were agguifying at the top of their lungs, and no two on 'em could agree, 'cept that none of 'em really knew what it was all about. "Jack listened awhile, an' then coughed sorta apologetically, an' said, 'Gentlemen, this was either a small factory or a machine shop, and that was some sort of lathe'. "They all looks at him in astonishment, an' then one of em said, 'I suppose you can also tell us what the Martians looked like?' "Jack sorta grinned, an' said, "Well, not 'zactly, but they were taller than we are, an' had seven fingers.' "They went wile then, and hollered an' yelled at him. Finally the Chief Spec-Tech asked him how he knew. "'Nothin' much to it if you've been around machine shops an' factories all your life like I have,' Jack answered civilly. 'The arrangement of the ruins of the machines here would tell you they were set in aisles at the most economical way, like they are in factories and shops. Then there are some ree-mains of little curly-que metal shavings on the floor here, so this must have been a lathe ----------------------- (#) Spec-Techs -- common nickname for Specialist-Technicians page 19
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