DIY History | Transcribe | Hevelin Fanzines | En Garde, whole no. 2, June 1942

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En Garde, whole no. 2, June 1942

Page 8

page 8.

FOO and GOO were once the same. It would appear that sometime in the remote past a schism took place in the worship of their deity. It might originally have been a minor difference. But the passage of time increased the separation of the two groups.

This startling knowledge served only to urge me to greater efforts. My never-ceasing scarch took me to museums, and to nearly-forgotten archives of ancient monasteries. It was in one of the latter that I changed upon that which was to make possible the final attainment of my goal.

It was a fragment of skin of doubtful origin. Strange words had been scrawled upon it in some dark red pigment. Though the writing was unfamiliar, it bore a certain similarity to that Pre-Fanish dialect I had previously encountered. But, chiefly, what caught my eye and aroused my curiosity was the partially obliterated "OO". The first letter had been rubbed out, or had faded with time. Long, I struggled with the language of that almost prehistoric manuscript, and in the end it yielded to my efforts.

It proved to be a sort of invocation. The elaborateness of the formulae hinted of great power -- perhaps of danger. But my thirst for knowledge prevailed. In my burning cagerness, and my firm conviction that my task was nearly completed, I resolved to try it.

It is not for me to give in detail a description of that ritual. There were certain marks to be placed upon the floor. There wereweirdly compounded candles to be made and lit, and censers of pungent incense to be placed in special positions about the room. There were strange gestures to be made, accompanied by the chanting of bizarre phrases in the olden tongue. There was also something else which shall remain untold.

The room darkened. Even the light of the candles faded from sight. The air filled with tiny, threadlike bolts of lightning, that were none the less terrifying for all their smallness. Shrill pipings filled the room and echoed from wall to wall. Gradually, they swelled to a deafening crescendo, then ceased abruptly. In a moment they were replaced by a horde of faint whisperings. There came a great rushing sound, and a dim mistiness in the darkness before me. It coalesced, took form, grew brighter. Before me stood a majestic and awe-inspiring Being. He spoke. His voice was as distant thunder, as the rumble of a far-off battle.

"I am POO!" he said. "I am the First and Only."

There was much that he told me amid the light-shot blackness of that fearful night. Some of it must remain secret, but much of that knowledge will be passed on. That night I reached the end of my quest. Down with Foo! To Limbo with Ghu! Only POO lives and demands your obeisance.

Man! Fan! Slan! Hear me! I talked to POO! Yes, I did! No kidding'. Actually and literally! Write to me for the Truth. Read of the great and wonderful life that can be yours when you understand the teachings of POO.

In the meantime, POO ON YOU!

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page 8. FOO and GOO were once the same. It would appear that sometime in the remote past a schism took place in the worship of their deity. It might originally have been a minor difference. But the passage of time increased the separation of the two groups. This startling knowledge served only to urge me to greater efforts. My never-ceasing scarch took me to museums, and to nearly-forgotten archives of ancient monasteries. It was in one of the latter that I changed upon that which was to make possible the final attainment of my goal. It was a fragment of skin of doubtful origin. Strange words had been scrawled upon it in some dark red pigment. Though the writing was unfamiliar, it bore a certain similarity to that Pre-Fanish dialect I had previously encountered. But, chiefly, what caught my eye and aroused my curiosity was the partially obliterated "OO". The first letter had been rubbed out, or had faded with time. Long, I struggled with the language of that almost prehistoric manuscript, and in the end it yielded to my efforts. It proved to be a sort of invocation. The elaborateness of the formulae hinted of great power -- perhaps of danger. But my thirst for knowledge prevailed. In my burning cagerness, and my firm conviction that my task was nearly completed, I resolved to try it. It is not for me to give in detail a description of that ritual. There were certain marks to be placed upon the floor. There wereweirdly compounded candles to be made and lit, and censers of pungent incense to be placed in special positions about the room. There were strange gestures to be made, accompanied by the chanting of bizarre phrases in the olden tongue. There was also something else which shall remain untold. The room darkened. Even the light of the candles faded from sight. The air filled with tiny, threadlike bolts of lightning, that were none the less terrifying for all their smallness. Shrill pipings filled the room and echoed from wall to wall. Gradually, they swelled to a deafening crescendo, then ceased abruptly. In a moment they were replaced by a horde of faint whisperings. There came a great rushing sound, and a dim mistiness in the darkness before me. It coalesced, took form, grew brighter. Before me stood a majestic and awe-inspiring Being. He spoke. His voice was as distant thunder, as the rumble of a far-off battle. "I am POO!" he said. "I am the First and Only." There was much that he told me amid the light-shot blackness of that fearful night. Some of it must remain secret, but much of that knowledge will be passed on. That night I reached the end of my quest. Down with Foo! To Limbo with Ghu! Only POO lives and demands your obeisance. Man! Fan! Slan! Hear me! I talked to POO! Yes, I did! No kidding'. Actually and literally! Write to me for the Truth. Read of the great and wonderful life that can be yours when you understand the teachings of POO. In the meantime, POO ON YOU!