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Banshee, whole no. 7, March 1945
Page 12
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B: Came in yesterday G: Well, put them aside for a couple weeks. we gotta make it appear as if we read them. (phone rings) B: Ghastly Fantatales. Good morning. Stinking weather, sin't it? (aside) It's Burlap. G: Hello, Burlap. What? You want to know how your story "I, Glubatsch" was received? (Looks at Bluto; Bluto holds his nose and makes violent gestures) Oh yes, Burlap. Came out last in the book. Everybody said it was putrid. Oh, I can't repeat what was in the letters -- obscene. That's right. i want you to do seven more for me, just like it. Bye. B: Is Soupa doing the next cover? G: Let me see. Doopa did the last one. Yes, we might get Soupa. No, begad, I have it. Something new, something startling. We'll let them collaborate on it and have a soupa-doopa cover. (phone rings) B: Ghastly Fantatales. Good morning. Frightful weather, isn't it? (aside) It's Hawxley. G: Hello, Hawxley. What? You didn't like the changes I made in your story? Well, I'm sorry, Hawxley, but these things have to be done. What? You want to know how the story made out? (Looks at Bluto; Bluto smiles broadly and nods his head vigorously.) Oh yes, Hawxley. Everybody said it was wonderful. Better than Merritt. Better than Lovecraft. Better than Skylarks. You see how it is, Hawxley. I'm sorry, too, but I've no choice in the matter; we just can't use your stuff. Bye. B: Circulation department wants you to ring them. G: Okay. Hello. Garrideb speaking. What? The April book lost $875.50? How did that fifty cents get in? Oh, you got in a crap game. Well, I'm not surprised at all. Always said there was no money in science fiction. Bye. B: Want the distribution department? G: Yes. Hello. Distribution? ARe the quarterlies back yet? They are? No, don't m ake up another batch right away. We're going to try something new. An annual. Yes. Bind three of the quarterlies together and have Soupa do a cover. Bye. B: What about that cover by the new artist, Harg? G: Oh yes, that. Too arty. Wait, have an idea. We'll put it on the back. And write a science feature around it. Who did the science feature last month? p12
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B: Came in yesterday G: Well, put them aside for a couple weeks. we gotta make it appear as if we read them. (phone rings) B: Ghastly Fantatales. Good morning. Stinking weather, sin't it? (aside) It's Burlap. G: Hello, Burlap. What? You want to know how your story "I, Glubatsch" was received? (Looks at Bluto; Bluto holds his nose and makes violent gestures) Oh yes, Burlap. Came out last in the book. Everybody said it was putrid. Oh, I can't repeat what was in the letters -- obscene. That's right. i want you to do seven more for me, just like it. Bye. B: Is Soupa doing the next cover? G: Let me see. Doopa did the last one. Yes, we might get Soupa. No, begad, I have it. Something new, something startling. We'll let them collaborate on it and have a soupa-doopa cover. (phone rings) B: Ghastly Fantatales. Good morning. Frightful weather, isn't it? (aside) It's Hawxley. G: Hello, Hawxley. What? You didn't like the changes I made in your story? Well, I'm sorry, Hawxley, but these things have to be done. What? You want to know how the story made out? (Looks at Bluto; Bluto smiles broadly and nods his head vigorously.) Oh yes, Hawxley. Everybody said it was wonderful. Better than Merritt. Better than Lovecraft. Better than Skylarks. You see how it is, Hawxley. I'm sorry, too, but I've no choice in the matter; we just can't use your stuff. Bye. B: Circulation department wants you to ring them. G: Okay. Hello. Garrideb speaking. What? The April book lost $875.50? How did that fifty cents get in? Oh, you got in a crap game. Well, I'm not surprised at all. Always said there was no money in science fiction. Bye. B: Want the distribution department? G: Yes. Hello. Distribution? ARe the quarterlies back yet? They are? No, don't m ake up another batch right away. We're going to try something new. An annual. Yes. Bind three of the quarterlies together and have Soupa do a cover. Bye. B: What about that cover by the new artist, Harg? G: Oh yes, that. Too arty. Wait, have an idea. We'll put it on the back. And write a science feature around it. Who did the science feature last month? p12
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