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Banshee, whole no. 7, March 1945
Page 13
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B: Professor Nottingham. G: Oh yes, I remember. He had to re-write it. Too technical. Well, perhaps you'd better do it this month, Bluto. Use the name -- oh, say Wilmer Wichitau, D Sc. World-famous authority. Anything on the blotter? B: Your writeup on Horace Higgledy-Hagg. G: Oh yes, the new writer. Must do an autobiographical sketch on him. Fine man, Horace. I think I'll have him born in St. Petersburg, an Antarctic explorer at the age of eight, discoverer of a new process at the age of thirteen, and a soldier-of-fortune from fifteen to twenty. Must make these people interesting. Fact strange than fiction. (phone rings) B: Ghastly Fantatales. Good morning. Stinking weather, isn't it? (aside) It's Wertenberg, the fan. G: Oh, hello, Wert. You want some dope on forthcoming issues for your fan sheet? Ah yes. Well, we have some real stink-- fine stories coming up. Yes, very fine. First class. Let's see: there's a new Gummingsley novel. Has a new twist in it. Yes. Heroine has a wooden leg. Then there's a brand new story by a great new writer with a fresh outlook. About a scientist. He's brilliant but he's mad. Threatens to blow up earth at twelve o'clock unless they make him dictator. So the hero and the heroine work out a ray that will turn him into pocket fuzz. But they haven't time to perfect it. They finally get finished at 11:45, and turn on the power. Terrific suspense while the minutes roll by. Then the clock begins to strike twelve. He says: "Darling, if this is the end, I will love you always." Terrific love scene. What What happens? The planet blows up. Bye. B: Oh yes, Mr. Garrideb. Mr. Rafferty and Mr. Spoyle want to see you. Something about the magazine, I think. G: They do, eh? Well that's not surprising. I now what's on their mind. They probably want to know why the circulation has been going down. Always said there was no money in science fiction. (curtain) ##### p13
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B: Professor Nottingham. G: Oh yes, I remember. He had to re-write it. Too technical. Well, perhaps you'd better do it this month, Bluto. Use the name -- oh, say Wilmer Wichitau, D Sc. World-famous authority. Anything on the blotter? B: Your writeup on Horace Higgledy-Hagg. G: Oh yes, the new writer. Must do an autobiographical sketch on him. Fine man, Horace. I think I'll have him born in St. Petersburg, an Antarctic explorer at the age of eight, discoverer of a new process at the age of thirteen, and a soldier-of-fortune from fifteen to twenty. Must make these people interesting. Fact strange than fiction. (phone rings) B: Ghastly Fantatales. Good morning. Stinking weather, isn't it? (aside) It's Wertenberg, the fan. G: Oh, hello, Wert. You want some dope on forthcoming issues for your fan sheet? Ah yes. Well, we have some real stink-- fine stories coming up. Yes, very fine. First class. Let's see: there's a new Gummingsley novel. Has a new twist in it. Yes. Heroine has a wooden leg. Then there's a brand new story by a great new writer with a fresh outlook. About a scientist. He's brilliant but he's mad. Threatens to blow up earth at twelve o'clock unless they make him dictator. So the hero and the heroine work out a ray that will turn him into pocket fuzz. But they haven't time to perfect it. They finally get finished at 11:45, and turn on the power. Terrific suspense while the minutes roll by. Then the clock begins to strike twelve. He says: "Darling, if this is the end, I will love you always." Terrific love scene. What What happens? The planet blows up. Bye. B: Oh yes, Mr. Garrideb. Mr. Rafferty and Mr. Spoyle want to see you. Something about the magazine, I think. G: They do, eh? Well that's not surprising. I now what's on their mind. They probably want to know why the circulation has been going down. Always said there was no money in science fiction. (curtain) ##### p13
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