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Ladies Against Women, 1980-1983
Phyllis Shaftly
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PHYLLIS SHAFTLY (After introduction) First, I'd like to thank my husband, my father and my four sons for allowing me to be here today They are so understanding. I have been traveling across our broad nation surveying attitudes on rights for "women," and I'm happy to report that Ladies outnumber women ten to one (pause) on rest room doors across America. As an attorney and a leader of the Moral Monopoly, (we have a monopoly on morality) I am well qualified to quote to you directly from GOD, Inc. by-laws. "Ladies need no special rights. Ladies are naturally superior at matters of ironing, cleaning, taking dictation and raising little dictators. Ladies are not articulate; They should not EVER SPEAK OUT!" "Women" on they other hand, threaten the Nuclear Family, Unlimited (a subsidiary of GOD Inc.), and thereby endanger our Domestic Security. That is why I am proposing to investigate these subversive unladylike activities through the establishment of H.U.L.A.--The House Committee on Unladylike Activities. Furthermore, we must nip womenhood in the bud, and repeal the vote now! After all, we must remember what keeps us up on our pedestals; it's suffering not sufferage. And if God didn't want us up on pedestals he would never have made us shorter than our husbands. © 1981 Francesca Graziano
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PHYLLIS SHAFTLY (After introduction) First, I'd like to thank my husband, my father and my four sons for allowing me to be here today They are so understanding. I have been traveling across our broad nation surveying attitudes on rights for "women," and I'm happy to report that Ladies outnumber women ten to one (pause) on rest room doors across America. As an attorney and a leader of the Moral Monopoly, (we have a monopoly on morality) I am well qualified to quote to you directly from GOD, Inc. by-laws. "Ladies need no special rights. Ladies are naturally superior at matters of ironing, cleaning, taking dictation and raising little dictators. Ladies are not articulate; They should not EVER SPEAK OUT!" "Women" on they other hand, threaten the Nuclear Family, Unlimited (a subsidiary of GOD Inc.), and thereby endanger our Domestic Security. That is why I am proposing to investigate these subversive unladylike activities through the establishment of H.U.L.A.--The House Committee on Unladylike Activities. Furthermore, we must nip womenhood in the bud, and repeal the vote now! After all, we must remember what keeps us up on our pedestals; it's suffering not sufferage. And if God didn't want us up on pedestals he would never have made us shorter than our husbands. © 1981 Francesca Graziano
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