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Diablerie, v. 1, issue 3, March 1944

Page 9

       NE FUMER PAS, BUT IF YOU MUST, DO IT RIGHT

              T B YERKE

   Smoking is a nervous habit exercised in a disgustingly filthy manner by the majority of American men over ten years of age, and girls over fourteen. They smoke the world's worst brands of tobacco in its most obnoxious preparation, do it with the least amount of dexterity, and know the least about it, of any race on the earth except the Australian Bushmen, who don't smoke.
   This does not mean that smoking is not a highly developed art of leisure, much as is mixing good drinks or turning a bon mot in conversation. It simply means Joe on the street corner with a so-called cigarette in his mouth is merely fuming; he isn't smoking. The French and Spanish call this act by its right name, fumer or fumero, which means to make clouds of smoke. Neither the French and Spanish know how to smoke so it's no wonder. The Germans on the other hand have a separate verb for the act, rauchen, which has nothing to do with creating local blackouts. The British "light up" rather than smoke. Both these nationalities know good tobacco and appreciate it.
   In England, cigarettes come in packages of ten and cost a shilling. This is a good price, pre-war. Smoking tobacco averages a shilling an ounce, pre war, and cigars are in the same bracket The Britisher smokes at the proper time, indulges in the act with dignity, and does not slobber all over the end of his weed. The American puffs away all day long and, blindfolded, couldn't tell the difference between a Lucky Strike and Wings.
   Cigarettes in theory contain shredded tobacco with an ample amount of Saltpeter to insure their proper burning. Most American cigarettes contain a special brand of cellophane soaked in tobacco joice with just enough tobacco to give the appearance of same. Further more, your big four type is amply sprayed with lead arsenate. There are several kinds of basic tobaccos which are supposed to be blended with unspeakable delicacy. Among them are Turkish, Virginia, Perique, bright, and Egyptian. Revelation smoking tobacco ads will furnish some others. Let me state that not one of the well-known brands on sale in the USA are more then shams of the real McCoy. 
   Virginia Rounds and Phillip's Navy Players are the only two brands obtainable in this country from domestic sources which contained pure, flue-cured, Virginia Bright tobacco without lead arsenate or other preservatives. They do have Saltpeter, an essential in any cigarette.
   The average American's palate is dulled to such a degree of insensibility from stinkweed tobacco that he is unable to even taste the delicate qualities of better cigarettes. When I offer them to friends, they say: "I can't taste them!" It reminds me of the little Chinese boy who didn't like American eggs because there was no sulpher-like smell about them.
   With a few exceptions, Benson and Hedges are the only decent producers of cigarettes in America, and they are of British origin. To anyone interested in learning to smoke, let him try Turkish #1, Russian nos. 3 and 5, Old Gubeck Amber, or for gooc, pure, unadulterated tobacco, Virginia Rounds or (next page)

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NE FUMER PAS, BUT IF YOU MUST, DO IT RIGHT T B YERKE Smoking is a nervous habit exercised in a disgustingly filthy manner by the majority of American men over ten years of age, and girls over fourteen. They smoke the world's worst brands of tobacco in its most obnoxious preparation, do it with the least amount of dexterity, and know the least about it, of any race on the earth except the Australian Bushmen, who don't smoke. This does not mean that smoking is not a highly developed art of leisure, much as is mixing good drinks or turning a bon mot in conversation. It simply means Joe on the street corner with a so-called cigarette in his mouth is merely fuming; he isn't smoking. The French and Spanish call this act by its right name, fumer or fumero, which means to make clouds of smoke. Neither the French and Spanish know how to smoke so it's no wonder. The Germans on the other hand have a separate verb for the act, rauchen, which has nothing to do with creating local blackouts. The British "light up" rather than smoke. Both these nationalities know good tobacco and appreciate it. In England, cigarettes come in packages of ten and cost a shilling. This is a good price, pre-war. Smoking tobacco averages a shilling an ounce, pre war, and cigars are in the same bracket The Britisher smokes at the proper time, indulges in the act with dignity, and does not slobber all over the end of his weed. The American puffs away all day long and, blindfolded, couldn't tell the difference between a Lucky Strike and Wings. Cigarettes in theory contain shredded tobacco with an ample amount of Saltpeter to insure their proper burning. Most American cigarettes contain a special brand of cellophane soaked in tobacco joice with just enough tobacco to give the appearance of same. Further more, your big four type is amply sprayed with lead arsenate. There are several kinds of basic tobaccos which are supposed to be blended with unspeakable delicacy. Among them are Turkish, Virginia, Perique, bright, and Egyptian. Revelation smoking tobacco ads will furnish some others. Let me state that not one of the well-known brands on sale in the USA are more then shams of the real McCoy. Virginia Rounds and Phillip's Navy Players are the only two brands obtainable in this country from domestic sources which contained pure, flue-cured, Virginia Bright tobacco without lead arsenate or other preservatives. They do have Saltpeter, an essential in any cigarette. The average American's palate is dulled to such a degree of insensibility from stinkweed tobacco that he is unable to even taste the delicate qualities of better cigarettes. When I offer them to friends, they say: "I can't taste them!" It reminds me of the little Chinese boy who didn't like American eggs because there was no sulpher-like smell about them. With a few exceptions, Benson and Hedges are the only decent producers of cigarettes in America, and they are of British origin. To anyone interested in learning to smoke, let him try Turkish #1, Russian nos. 3 and 5, Old Gubeck Amber, or for gooc, pure, unadulterated tobacco, Virginia Rounds or (next page)