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Fanfare, v. 2, issue 1, whole no. 7, August 1941
Page 18
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xviii fanfare THE GOATHERD SOLUTION We find Colbie, hot on the trail of the eternally evanescent Deverel, outside a tiny one-room metallohut located on the far southwestern edge of the Venusian flatlands. It is darkest night. Colbie tries the door, it opens, and he enters the hut carefully, gun in hand. The gun, though, has the safety on, because Colbie is taking no chances on shooting his brilliant game. Inside, the interplanetary policeman switches on the light and glances over the interior. To his right, in a corner, stands a dirty mop and a badly worn broom; along the right hand wall is an old "V" model atom-powered cooking range and cabinet accessories; in the middle of the floor, just in front of the stove, sets an old and rusted five gallon bucket filled with ashes -- ashes! -- ; to the left, a small table cluttered with dirty dishes, piled high with cigarette stubs and ashes; along the far wall a begrimed sink, and --- horrors! --- Between Colbie and the table lay a dead man with his forehead turned to ashes by the hot beam of a raygun undoubtedly. Colbie noticed the man was only half dressed and barefooted and he hastily turned the body over. He sighed with enormous relief. "Thank God, it's not Deverel." Colbie examined the dead man but could ascertain nothing besides one very puzzling fact. The dead man's left foot was badly bruised about the toes! Can you, dear reader, tell Colbie why the foot was bruised? (*That's easy, but can you, dear Goatherd, tell the reader's how Colbie knew the dead man's forehead was burned to ashes before he turned him over?*) ....................................... Have you been reading all the books and so forth on how to be popular --- how to have a winning personality? The experts seem pretty well agreed that to make a person like you, you must appeal to his vanity, and to appeal to that you've got to show that you know of him, of his works; you must recognize his name. Without making any comment about Miske here, we shall say that from the above consideration, you, as a fan, with ideas about getting to be as high as #3 some day, (Numbers 1 & 2 have been reserved) must know a lot of fans. Let's see what you can do in the way of correctly placing fans in the localities given below. For instance, if the locality given is Cleveland, Ohio, (par one) you immediately holler "J. Miske!" and strike par. If you can name other fans in Cleveland, go ahead. If you hit only par on the full course, you're just ordinary, par and a half warrants you as a good fan, double par rates you well up and you should be in the first thirty. If you should by and chance to get triple par, you can call Ackerman a usurper. For all the good it'll do you. (Remember, no references, memory only!) Also, if you happen to be one of the fans in a named locality, you must, in full justice, not include your score in that locality in your completed games. Comprenez vous? Game also includes fantasy authors and editors. Now go ahead and play --- FAN FAN... Michigan (par 5) ; New York City (par 12) ; Chicago (par 7) ; Connecticut (par 2 ummm!) ; Ohio (par 6) ; Los Angeles (par 8) ; Texas (par 1) ; Oklahoma (par 3) ; chop, chop ; Indiana (par 5 oh oh) ; and grouping Pennsylvania, Washington, D. C., South Carolina, and Bloomington together (par 9) ; Rochester (par 3) ; Massachusetts (par 3). Enough? Okay. (Total par, 64). (*Yhos managed to scrape up 111, leaving a trail of horrible divots gouged in his memory convolutions.*)
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xviii fanfare THE GOATHERD SOLUTION We find Colbie, hot on the trail of the eternally evanescent Deverel, outside a tiny one-room metallohut located on the far southwestern edge of the Venusian flatlands. It is darkest night. Colbie tries the door, it opens, and he enters the hut carefully, gun in hand. The gun, though, has the safety on, because Colbie is taking no chances on shooting his brilliant game. Inside, the interplanetary policeman switches on the light and glances over the interior. To his right, in a corner, stands a dirty mop and a badly worn broom; along the right hand wall is an old "V" model atom-powered cooking range and cabinet accessories; in the middle of the floor, just in front of the stove, sets an old and rusted five gallon bucket filled with ashes -- ashes! -- ; to the left, a small table cluttered with dirty dishes, piled high with cigarette stubs and ashes; along the far wall a begrimed sink, and --- horrors! --- Between Colbie and the table lay a dead man with his forehead turned to ashes by the hot beam of a raygun undoubtedly. Colbie noticed the man was only half dressed and barefooted and he hastily turned the body over. He sighed with enormous relief. "Thank God, it's not Deverel." Colbie examined the dead man but could ascertain nothing besides one very puzzling fact. The dead man's left foot was badly bruised about the toes! Can you, dear reader, tell Colbie why the foot was bruised? (*That's easy, but can you, dear Goatherd, tell the reader's how Colbie knew the dead man's forehead was burned to ashes before he turned him over?*) ....................................... Have you been reading all the books and so forth on how to be popular --- how to have a winning personality? The experts seem pretty well agreed that to make a person like you, you must appeal to his vanity, and to appeal to that you've got to show that you know of him, of his works; you must recognize his name. Without making any comment about Miske here, we shall say that from the above consideration, you, as a fan, with ideas about getting to be as high as #3 some day, (Numbers 1 & 2 have been reserved) must know a lot of fans. Let's see what you can do in the way of correctly placing fans in the localities given below. For instance, if the locality given is Cleveland, Ohio, (par one) you immediately holler "J. Miske!" and strike par. If you can name other fans in Cleveland, go ahead. If you hit only par on the full course, you're just ordinary, par and a half warrants you as a good fan, double par rates you well up and you should be in the first thirty. If you should by and chance to get triple par, you can call Ackerman a usurper. For all the good it'll do you. (Remember, no references, memory only!) Also, if you happen to be one of the fans in a named locality, you must, in full justice, not include your score in that locality in your completed games. Comprenez vous? Game also includes fantasy authors and editors. Now go ahead and play --- FAN FAN... Michigan (par 5) ; New York City (par 12) ; Chicago (par 7) ; Connecticut (par 2 ummm!) ; Ohio (par 6) ; Los Angeles (par 8) ; Texas (par 1) ; Oklahoma (par 3) ; chop, chop ; Indiana (par 5 oh oh) ; and grouping Pennsylvania, Washington, D. C., South Carolina, and Bloomington together (par 9) ; Rochester (par 3) ; Massachusetts (par 3). Enough? Okay. (Total par, 64). (*Yhos managed to scrape up 111, leaving a trail of horrible divots gouged in his memory convolutions.*)
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