DIY History | Transcribe | Hevelin Fanzines | Fantasy Fictioneer, v. 1, issue 2, January-February 1940

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Fantasy Fictioneer, v. 1, issue 2, January-February 1940

Page 5

5000 B.B.C by Edward J. Carnell
(Being a translation from the hieroglyphics upon the West Face of Cleopatra's Needle, compiled during a thick fog. )

	Blue Bile (error, read "Nile" -editor),National Park at Geezer,which included the Great Pyramids and their watchdog companions,had just been thrown open to a gaping but sparse public. Lack of enthusiasm upon  the part of his vassals and slaves was causing the Pharoah Rut to storm about his palace gnashing his beard and cuffing all and sundry who cowered his way.
	As a real-estate business the Park was stagnating,mainly due to the family tradition thrust upon Rut's bony shoulders. For generations,up to his father's reign,the Pharoah's had enticed thousands of slaves into hauling the huge blocks of stone into place to form their last resting place (both slaves and Pharoah's), and public opinion was   dead against desecrating such spiritual ground with Mayday frolic.
	Delving still further back into the musk-laden past we find that Queen Pheob,worthy spouse of King Menn II, had insisted upon a rock-garden at the back of the palace. A Royal Proclamation had been proclaimed sanctioning the work,and as no-one thought of revoking the order after Pheob and Menn II's decease,the tradition went steadily on.
	The Palace and the rest of the Borough of Geezer had long since gone to swell the garden,and the Capital forcibly removed to Anhket (so much handier for slave-running and the various rackets of the Nile River Gang Rats), when Rut's father Ankhor finally placed the top stone on the last pyramid,which were three in number,with two gigantic watchdogs named Spinx and Shux facing them.
	So they were handed down in the last Will and Testament of Ankhor , chiselled upon the Royal Lodestone,together with the National Debt to Lower-Egypt and the revised Slaves-Rights Act.
	Rut was a go-ahead lad when he descended the throne,which was in the basement for coolness. His wife,Khat,most ambitious of the harem, had planned a brilliant political career for him,but upon examinining the Old Oak Coffers after the Coronation,they both realized that they would have to realize elsewhere. Local wars and the eternal graft in the Royal Household had well and truly emptied them; even the gold nails on the lids had been replaced with half-inch brads.
	Rut's first move after the moneymoon was to fence off a goodly portion of the desert including the rock-garden,and open it as a Park , admission two Shexlets. Then,when that failed to draw the multitude,he flooded the country with beautifully chiselled adverts in three colored sandstone,scattered wholesale a nd retail from his racing chariots. This only tended to drive the people from the streets into the gambling joints and harems,so Rut was at his wit's end to turn his white elephant into a black one.
	Ulfedersen,ex-charioteer, ex-Captain Ancient Britain Storm Troopers and ex-galley slave #47,fourth oar,port side, nonchalently hitched his leopard-skin higher over his right shoulder as he strolled down High St. Life was again beginning to take on a roseate hue. After all, he was alive still, in Ankhet, City of Life!

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5000 B.B.C by Edward J. Carnell (Being a translation from the hieroglyphics upon the West Face of Cleopatra's Needle, compiled during a thick fog. ) Blue Bile (error, read "Nile" -editor),National Park at Geezer,which included the Great Pyramids and their watchdog companions,had just been thrown open to a gaping but sparse public. Lack of enthusiasm upon the part of his vassals and slaves was causing the Pharoah Rut to storm about his palace gnashing his beard and cuffing all and sundry who cowered his way. As a real-estate business the Park was stagnating,mainly due to the family tradition thrust upon Rut's bony shoulders. For generations,up to his father's reign,the Pharoah's had enticed thousands of slaves into hauling the huge blocks of stone into place to form their last resting place (both slaves and Pharoah's), and public opinion was dead against desecrating such spiritual ground with Mayday frolic. Delving still further back into the musk-laden past we find that Queen Pheob,worthy spouse of King Menn II, had insisted upon a rock-garden at the back of the palace. A Royal Proclamation had been proclaimed sanctioning the work,and as no-one thought of revoking the order after Pheob and Menn II's decease,the tradition went steadily on. The Palace and the rest of the Borough of Geezer had long since gone to swell the garden,and the Capital forcibly removed to Anhket (so much handier for slave-running and the various rackets of the Nile River Gang Rats), when Rut's father Ankhor finally placed the top stone on the last pyramid,which were three in number,with two gigantic watchdogs named Spinx and Shux facing them. So they were handed down in the last Will and Testament of Ankhor , chiselled upon the Royal Lodestone,together with the National Debt to Lower-Egypt and the revised Slaves-Rights Act. Rut was a go-ahead lad when he descended the throne,which was in the basement for coolness. His wife,Khat,most ambitious of the harem, had planned a brilliant political career for him,but upon examinining the Old Oak Coffers after the Coronation,they both realized that they would have to realize elsewhere. Local wars and the eternal graft in the Royal Household had well and truly emptied them; even the gold nails on the lids had been replaced with half-inch brads. Rut's first move after the moneymoon was to fence off a goodly portion of the desert including the rock-garden,and open it as a Park , admission two Shexlets. Then,when that failed to draw the multitude,he flooded the country with beautifully chiselled adverts in three colored sandstone,scattered wholesale a nd retail from his racing chariots. This only tended to drive the people from the streets into the gambling joints and harems,so Rut was at his wit's end to turn his white elephant into a black one. Ulfedersen,ex-charioteer, ex-Captain Ancient Britain Storm Troopers and ex-galley slave #47,fourth oar,port side, nonchalently hitched his leopard-skin higher over his right shoulder as he strolled down High St. Life was again beginning to take on a roseate hue. After all, he was alive still, in Ankhet, City of Life!