Transcribe
Translate
Vampire, whole no. 7, September 1946
31858063101335_015
More information
digital collection
archival collection guide
transcription tips
majestic gold-inlaid mantle clock. "Never again!" said Professor Ponghoff firmly, pushing the bottle away. Soon afterward, the professor and his assistant Donald Ghulheim isolated and trapped a real vombis. Before their startled eyes, the nasty creature became a golf ball, a tennis shoe, a badminton net, and a baseball glove. "Hmmmmm," the professor theorized, "quite the sport, wot?" May his spirit rest in pieces. [Cartoon of man with swollen nose holding large mug labeled VODKA.] HUNTING VOMBI ... It was several years later that Ghulheim discovered the most loathsome of all the vombic spieces. He had encountered an amorphous vombis, and a colorless vombis . . (It is impossible to realize what a horrifying color true colorlessness is. Imagine, if you will, something that is not black -- nor red -- nor white -- nor any color -- the mind staggers). Most horrible of all, however, was the discovery of the striped vombis. Like the other vombis mutant, the colorless vombis, the striped vombis breed has a definite shape. It inhabits the tropisphere, ionisphere, bathysphere, jacksphere, and spheremint regions of the earth's surface. See, erudition. The breed's most outstanding characteristic is, as the name would indicate, that the vombi are striped. Hoy Ping Pee, the famous Tibetan vombic authority, insists that the striped vombis is a direct cousin of the colorless variety, and, in fact, is a secondary mutation. The fact is that the striped vombis' color is colorless. That is truly horrible -- an eye-wrenching hue that is no color man has ever viewed, nor ever wishes to -- but what is so much more shocking as to render the other horror insignificant is the absolute terror of the stripes. These pass horizontally along the vombic tail and up the colorless back in the fashion made deservedly unpopular by the kitty of the woods, the putrid pussy with the fluid drive, our dubious friend, the Terran skunk. Other smaller stripes encircle the legs, and one passes between the eyes and over the tip of the nose. PU [Cartoon—Long-tailed striped animal with fumes rising above it. ] INVISIBILITY-STRIPED WOOD PUSSY And the color scheme? Well, the basic color is colorless, but the stripes are the truly distinctive and truly awful last touch. One might say the striped vombis has no stripes, for no one has ever seen them, but all are sure these stripes are present. The striped vombis is not striped in red, or green, or heliotrope-- ah, no -- crowning horror -- the stripes of the striped vombis are pure bands of invisibility, and slices of disconnected vombis walk the silent night of earth, released by the drunken imagination of some poor, foolhardy pulp reader who Tucker drink too many
Saving...
prev
next
majestic gold-inlaid mantle clock. "Never again!" said Professor Ponghoff firmly, pushing the bottle away. Soon afterward, the professor and his assistant Donald Ghulheim isolated and trapped a real vombis. Before their startled eyes, the nasty creature became a golf ball, a tennis shoe, a badminton net, and a baseball glove. "Hmmmmm," the professor theorized, "quite the sport, wot?" May his spirit rest in pieces. [Cartoon of man with swollen nose holding large mug labeled VODKA.] HUNTING VOMBI ... It was several years later that Ghulheim discovered the most loathsome of all the vombic spieces. He had encountered an amorphous vombis, and a colorless vombis . . (It is impossible to realize what a horrifying color true colorlessness is. Imagine, if you will, something that is not black -- nor red -- nor white -- nor any color -- the mind staggers). Most horrible of all, however, was the discovery of the striped vombis. Like the other vombis mutant, the colorless vombis, the striped vombis breed has a definite shape. It inhabits the tropisphere, ionisphere, bathysphere, jacksphere, and spheremint regions of the earth's surface. See, erudition. The breed's most outstanding characteristic is, as the name would indicate, that the vombi are striped. Hoy Ping Pee, the famous Tibetan vombic authority, insists that the striped vombis is a direct cousin of the colorless variety, and, in fact, is a secondary mutation. The fact is that the striped vombis' color is colorless. That is truly horrible -- an eye-wrenching hue that is no color man has ever viewed, nor ever wishes to -- but what is so much more shocking as to render the other horror insignificant is the absolute terror of the stripes. These pass horizontally along the vombic tail and up the colorless back in the fashion made deservedly unpopular by the kitty of the woods, the putrid pussy with the fluid drive, our dubious friend, the Terran skunk. Other smaller stripes encircle the legs, and one passes between the eyes and over the tip of the nose. PU [Cartoon—Long-tailed striped animal with fumes rising above it. ] INVISIBILITY-STRIPED WOOD PUSSY And the color scheme? Well, the basic color is colorless, but the stripes are the truly distinctive and truly awful last touch. One might say the striped vombis has no stripes, for no one has ever seen them, but all are sure these stripes are present. The striped vombis is not striped in red, or green, or heliotrope-- ah, no -- crowning horror -- the stripes of the striped vombis are pure bands of invisibility, and slices of disconnected vombis walk the silent night of earth, released by the drunken imagination of some poor, foolhardy pulp reader who Tucker drink too many
Hevelin Fanzines
sidebar
