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Jinx, v. 1, issue 1, December 1941

31858063105187_008

** "Dissertation Upon Nothing" *** JINX *** Page 8

DISSERTATION upon NOTHING!

Having nothing better to do than spread drivel over this page, we fumbled awkwardly for some boo'ful name to make this seem not to be the drivel that is most assuredly is and we got the name "Dissertation Upon Nothing" and we think this sentence is too darn long.

Since I intend to say anything that should happen to come to my mind on this page, I'll start off with an onslaught upon Emerson and his gosh-awful idolizer, Henry David Thoreau. Unfortunately we happen to have a teacher who goes around with a wild look in her eye, mumbling ecstatic (coined?) words about Waldo. And -- if there's anything we detest more than Emerson, it's more Emerson. He's the biggest bullshooter that I've ever read, known of, seen, etc. He had one theme and wrote essay after essay around it -- self-reliance. Pshaw! 

Thoreau was the ultimate extremist, but seemed to be a Bohemian of a sort, so we like him for that. However, pshaw to the second power. 

Psychology was quite interesting just before midsem exams. We'd just started in on emotions, and when the prof dragged out a bunch of evil-looking instruments, we licked our chops hungrily. An experiment! It developed that they were instruments for measuring the pulse, heartbeat, breathing, and respiration. Most interesting things developed from the difference between a girl's response to gruesome monstrosities of medicine and a boy's. The girl shuddered perceptibly, her heart-beat increased, her breathing became deeper and she closed her eyes. The boy merely grinned and said nothing. But various other responses were vastly different. Pornographic pictures brought forth a greater response in the boy than in the girl. Sudden fright occurred more quickly in the girl's case. But that was before the mid-semester exams!

And we stumble in the dark, flailing the empty air, shouting to Allah, wondering how in all hades Gilbert can stand that nasal-voiced pseudo-comedian, Fred Allen. He likes the guy! Ugh!

As yet, we don't know when Joe's "Conquest" is coming up in the Standard mags, so we expect that his first published story will come up in ASTONISHING. And, turning to the appearance date of the coming ASTONISHING, we note that it's on December 31. Oh well, Joe'll at least start the new year right.

Checking through our correspondence last night, we found that by far the greatest number of pages have been exchanged with Joe Fortier. On the day that I write this, November 18, we have written 97 single-spaced pica type pages. If you average this at 350 words a page, which is approximately right, I'm led to understand, it will be a grand total of almost 34,000 words that have gone across country 'tween us. And that, the evangelist said, ain't hay.

We might take this opportunity to inform all who don't already know that THE SOUTHERN STAR will continue its 44 page issues, despite the fact that mimeograph supply prices are soaring. It will not go up in price, either. All this was determined in a conference of ye associate ed, advisory ed MacQueen, general nuisance-at-large Eastman and of course, the editor, Joseph G. Gilbert.

We'd like to call the special attention of Widner to that middle initial in the Gilbert name. Thankee.

Something brilliant ought to fill up the last few lines o this page but unfortunately, we aren't in the mood for being brilliant. And the someone asks, "When are you ever brilliant?" And we just turn our head and speak not, 'cause we've reached the bottom of the page.

Watch for -- fan editor & publisher!

Saving...

** "Dissertation Upon Nothing" *** JINX *** Page 8 DISSERTATION upon NOTHING! Having nothing better to do than spread drivel over this page, we fumbled awkwardly for some boo'ful name to make this seem not to be the drivel that is most assuredly is and we got the name "Dissertation Upon Nothing" and we think this sentence is too darn long. Since I intend to say anything that should happen to come to my mind on this page, I'll start off with an onslaught upon Emerson and his gosh-awful idolizer, Henry David Thoreau. Unfortunately we happen to have a teacher who goes around with a wild look in her eye, mumbling ecstatic (coined?) words about Waldo. And -- if there's anything we detest more than Emerson, it's more Emerson. He's the biggest bullshooter that I've ever read, known of, seen, etc. He had one theme and wrote essay after essay around it -- self-reliance. Pshaw! Thoreau was the ultimate extremist, but seemed to be a Bohemian of a sort, so we like him for that. However, pshaw to the second power. Psychology was quite interesting just before midsem exams. We'd just started in on emotions, and when the prof dragged out a bunch of evil-looking instruments, we licked our chops hungrily. An experiment! It developed that they were instruments for measuring the pulse, heartbeat, breathing, and respiration. Most interesting things developed from the difference between a girl's response to gruesome monstrosities of medicine and a boy's. The girl shuddered perceptibly, her heart-beat increased, her breathing became deeper and she closed her eyes. The boy merely grinned and said nothing. But various other responses were vastly different. Pornographic pictures brought forth a greater response in the boy than in the girl. Sudden fright occurred more quickly in the girl's case. But that was before the mid-semester exams! And we stumble in the dark, flailing the empty air, shouting to Allah, wondering how in all hades Gilbert can stand that nasal-voiced pseudo-comedian, Fred Allen. He likes the guy! Ugh! As yet, we don't know when Joe's "Conquest" is coming up in the Standard mags, so we expect that his first published story will come up in ASTONISHING. And, turning to the appearance date of the coming ASTONISHING, we note that it's on December 31. Oh well, Joe'll at least start the new year right. Checking through our correspondence last night, we found that by far the greatest number of pages have been exchanged with Joe Fortier. On the day that I write this, November 18, we have written 97 single-spaced pica type pages. If you average this at 350 words a page, which is approximately right, I'm led to understand, it will be a grand total of almost 34,000 words that have gone across country 'tween us. And that, the evangelist said, ain't hay. We might take this opportunity to inform all who don't already know that THE SOUTHERN STAR will continue its 44 page issues, despite the fact that mimeograph supply prices are soaring. It will not go up in price, either. All this was determined in a conference of ye associate ed, advisory ed MacQueen, general nuisance-at-large Eastman and of course, the editor, Joseph G. Gilbert. We'd like to call the special attention of Widner to that middle initial in the Gilbert name. Thankee. Something brilliant ought to fill up the last few lines o this page but unfortunately, we aren't in the mood for being brilliant. And the someone asks, "When are you ever brilliant?" And we just turn our head and speak not, 'cause we've reached the bottom of the page. Watch for -- fan editor & publisher!