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Spaceways, v. 4, issue 1, whole no. 24, December 1941
5
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SPACEWAYS 5 THE LOG OF THE FOOFOO SPECIAL the bed (never sleep with a married man), listening to milkmen's horses (noisy beasts), and a rousing family brawl a few doors away, complete with breaking windows (no extra charge). June 30th—Up betimes, and did reach Washington by 11:30 AM. I sneaked up on Milty Rothman (sitting on his front porch, diligently scrutinizing roadmaps) and fondly imagined I scared him most to death by pinching his ankle and making mit de bow-wow. At least he jumped. After a short period of befuddlement, we headed for the last known habitation of zombie Singleton, and found that he had moved to the other side of the town. The first house had a big sign in front of it with red letters, proclaiming: "EARL SINGLETON SLEPT HERE." We decided the place to which we had moved was too much out of our way, and headed for Hagerstown. On the way we dropped in on del Rey and Speer. It was incredibly hot. We asked Speer for a drop of mortal beer. No got. We did get a lecture on the evils of intemperance. So we went for a soft drink, and the sly Speer led us back toward the city for at least 50 miles, before coming to his favorite soda joint. Juffus decided to go on a bender to celebrate our arrival. He disgustingly swizzled two grape sodas and went around hiccuping and leering at pretty (and otherwise) women. But that was not the greatest of his sins. The shameless hypocrite had gone to church whenhe should have met us at Milty's, and what's worse he stayed for the second show. Finally he got around to leading us out of town in the Spirit of FooFoo, pausing only to recite the Constitution in sign language at every intersection. As we reached the main route, he bestowed upon us the blessings of FooFoo, and we did procede with lightened hearts, knowing we could not fail. At the Warner domicile there was much talk whilst we (Harry) finished mimeoing our (Widner) Denvention publication, consisting of E.E. Smith's Chicon speech. As soon as the ice cream and cake were passed out we scrammed. Seriously tho, we enjoyed meeting Harry's folks. They seemed genuinely interested in fans and fandom, which is a rather rare case where fans' relatives are concerned. It was dark and raining when we headed west again. As we went along, it rained harder while we struggled to get the windshield closed. No close. So we stuffed three tons of Kleenex in the crack that was left, and everybody was happy except Bell, who had to blow his nose on the oil rag. We holed up just short of Uniontown, Penna. There we gratefully cleaned up and after taking a shower I posed for Milty and John a la Gypsy Rose Lee to suit the finest of aesthetic tastes. June 31st—On to Uniontown in the morn, and did discover a leaky water pump and weak fan belt. Did replace same with new ones, and also changed oil and had our vehicle greased, which made the kitty mew piteously. At Brownsville we did stop so Milty could buy himself a cushion. Widner and Bell did go along to help in the selection and lend moral support. (Oh, the hell with this Pepystuff!) Julius Unger (no "did") asked Widner to purchase socks for him. Whereupon, in order to teach the lazy galoot a lesson, we listened for the loudest pair in town, then walked to the store and bought them. They were a gorgeous xanthous hue intermingled with lapis-lazuli and a delicate touch of garnet and emerald. We sweated and coked our way to Zanesville, Ohio, with much filling of the overheated radiator. There we had it drained and flushed, while we invaded a local grocery for cold provisions so that we wouldn't have to stop again until supper. We emerged eating watermelon and absorbing more cokes and promptly emitting them from our pores. As we rolled along toward Columbus, Milty received one of his biggest shocks. Everybody had finished eating, but Widner wanted another sandwich. Milty made him one. Widner wanted Mustard, Milty complained that the device for transferring mustard from bottle to sandwich had become not. Widner was not
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SPACEWAYS 5 THE LOG OF THE FOOFOO SPECIAL the bed (never sleep with a married man), listening to milkmen's horses (noisy beasts), and a rousing family brawl a few doors away, complete with breaking windows (no extra charge). June 30th—Up betimes, and did reach Washington by 11:30 AM. I sneaked up on Milty Rothman (sitting on his front porch, diligently scrutinizing roadmaps) and fondly imagined I scared him most to death by pinching his ankle and making mit de bow-wow. At least he jumped. After a short period of befuddlement, we headed for the last known habitation of zombie Singleton, and found that he had moved to the other side of the town. The first house had a big sign in front of it with red letters, proclaiming: "EARL SINGLETON SLEPT HERE." We decided the place to which we had moved was too much out of our way, and headed for Hagerstown. On the way we dropped in on del Rey and Speer. It was incredibly hot. We asked Speer for a drop of mortal beer. No got. We did get a lecture on the evils of intemperance. So we went for a soft drink, and the sly Speer led us back toward the city for at least 50 miles, before coming to his favorite soda joint. Juffus decided to go on a bender to celebrate our arrival. He disgustingly swizzled two grape sodas and went around hiccuping and leering at pretty (and otherwise) women. But that was not the greatest of his sins. The shameless hypocrite had gone to church whenhe should have met us at Milty's, and what's worse he stayed for the second show. Finally he got around to leading us out of town in the Spirit of FooFoo, pausing only to recite the Constitution in sign language at every intersection. As we reached the main route, he bestowed upon us the blessings of FooFoo, and we did procede with lightened hearts, knowing we could not fail. At the Warner domicile there was much talk whilst we (Harry) finished mimeoing our (Widner) Denvention publication, consisting of E.E. Smith's Chicon speech. As soon as the ice cream and cake were passed out we scrammed. Seriously tho, we enjoyed meeting Harry's folks. They seemed genuinely interested in fans and fandom, which is a rather rare case where fans' relatives are concerned. It was dark and raining when we headed west again. As we went along, it rained harder while we struggled to get the windshield closed. No close. So we stuffed three tons of Kleenex in the crack that was left, and everybody was happy except Bell, who had to blow his nose on the oil rag. We holed up just short of Uniontown, Penna. There we gratefully cleaned up and after taking a shower I posed for Milty and John a la Gypsy Rose Lee to suit the finest of aesthetic tastes. June 31st—On to Uniontown in the morn, and did discover a leaky water pump and weak fan belt. Did replace same with new ones, and also changed oil and had our vehicle greased, which made the kitty mew piteously. At Brownsville we did stop so Milty could buy himself a cushion. Widner and Bell did go along to help in the selection and lend moral support. (Oh, the hell with this Pepystuff!) Julius Unger (no "did") asked Widner to purchase socks for him. Whereupon, in order to teach the lazy galoot a lesson, we listened for the loudest pair in town, then walked to the store and bought them. They were a gorgeous xanthous hue intermingled with lapis-lazuli and a delicate touch of garnet and emerald. We sweated and coked our way to Zanesville, Ohio, with much filling of the overheated radiator. There we had it drained and flushed, while we invaded a local grocery for cold provisions so that we wouldn't have to stop again until supper. We emerged eating watermelon and absorbing more cokes and promptly emitting them from our pores. As we rolled along toward Columbus, Milty received one of his biggest shocks. Everybody had finished eating, but Widner wanted another sandwich. Milty made him one. Widner wanted Mustard, Milty complained that the device for transferring mustard from bottle to sandwich had become not. Widner was not
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