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Phanteur, whole no. 2, Spring 1946

Page 4

4       P H A N T E U R                  4

SHOE-SHINING. This means of earning a living escaped me entirely when I was discussing other menial jobs. The job may be eliminated even in our own life-times through the development of plastic shoes with a permanent finish. What synthetics we have today are a mere drop in the bucket compared with what the chemistry of 2000 AD will probably give us.

PERSONAL SERVICE. Ignoring the fact that certain psychological types are happy only in a position of menial inferiority, it seems rather likely that the civilization I postulate will have so many gadgets that servants will be a thing of the past. We must also remember that servants are largely a product of a system in which a few have more than their share of worldly goods and the majority less.

   I must confess that two unpleasant tasks occur to me that are unlikely to be pleasant for anyone, and for which I can see no possible remedy. One is untangling of the debris and victims from the scene of an accident. While most accidents can be eliminated in one way or another, there still will be an occasional unfortunate happening, and postulating machinery that can extricate the still living victims without killing them just about postulates the robot. And I am not prepared to go that far. The other little chore is changing of diapers on babies. While disposable diapers are here even today, and help to a certain extent, this is still beyond me to eliminate. None of the remedies that I can think of could possibly be conducive to the life and well-being of the infant.

   But I believe I've gone far enough to show that it would be theoretically possible to eliminate unpleasant work from civilization. What do you think about it?

                  ---:oo0oo:---

   In grateful acknowledgement of the Laniac's industry in providing most of the material for this abbreviated issue of PHANTEUR, The Editor hereby dedicates to Mr. Laney, well-known as a connoiseur of the macabre, the following masterpiece in the genre of the weird and the horrible:

                    Bayou Mort
       by D. Burton Thompson, Esq.

  No leaping fish break water in dismal Bayou Mort,
  Nor crayfish rear their towers along its banks.
  No dragon-flies dart through the creeping mist-wraiths
  Among the rotting cypress' seried ranks.

  Strange then, that men should go where only death abides,
  I thought. And so, one night I trailed them there.
  There was no moon, but they knew well the way
  Among the swamps, straight to that loathesome lair.

  Their leader made obeisance at the water's edge,
  And then the rest; and chanted hymns obscene
  In some forgotten tongue of ancient time --
  The very sounds of it were all unclean.

  And suddenly, the water stirred, and churned, and boiled,
  And from the depths arose a nameless thing;
  It had no face, but Oh, that awesome voice;
  It sounded like Sinatra crossed with Bing!

Laneywillkillmetopiecesforthisbutyahgottaadmitihadyahfooledforaminuteortwohuh?

(continued from page 1)
   I was thinking more along the lines of industrial occupations of an extremely arduous or dangerous nature, rather than of menial service, or such concluded on page 6 concluded on page 6 concluded on page 6 concluded on page 6!

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4 P H A N T E U R 4 SHOE-SHINING. This means of earning a living escaped me entirely when I was discussing other menial jobs. The job may be eliminated even in our own life-times through the development of plastic shoes with a permanent finish. What synthetics we have today are a mere drop in the bucket compared with what the chemistry of 2000 AD will probably give us. PERSONAL SERVICE. Ignoring the fact that certain psychological types are happy only in a position of menial inferiority, it seems rather likely that the civilization I postulate will have so many gadgets that servants will be a thing of the past. We must also remember that servants are largely a product of a system in which a few have more than their share of worldly goods and the majority less. I must confess that two unpleasant tasks occur to me that are unlikely to be pleasant for anyone, and for which I can see no possible remedy. One is untangling of the debris and victims from the scene of an accident. While most accidents can be eliminated in one way or another, there still will be an occasional unfortunate happening, and postulating machinery that can extricate the still living victims without killing them just about postulates the robot. And I am not prepared to go that far. The other little chore is changing of diapers on babies. While disposable diapers are here even today, and help to a certain extent, this is still beyond me to eliminate. None of the remedies that I can think of could possibly be conducive to the life and well-being of the infant. But I believe I've gone far enough to show that it would be theoretically possible to eliminate unpleasant work from civilization. What do you think about it? ---:oo0oo:--- In grateful acknowledgement of the Laniac's industry in providing most of the material for this abbreviated issue of PHANTEUR, The Editor hereby dedicates to Mr. Laney, well-known as a connoiseur of the macabre, the following masterpiece in the genre of the weird and the horrible: Bayou Mort by D. Burton Thompson, Esq. No leaping fish break water in dismal Bayou Mort, Nor crayfish rear their towers along its banks. No dragon-flies dart through the creeping mist-wraiths Among the rotting cypress' seried ranks. Strange then, that men should go where only death abides, I thought. And so, one night I trailed them there. There was no moon, but they knew well the way Among the swamps, straight to that loathesome lair. Their leader made obeisance at the water's edge, And then the rest; and chanted hymns obscene In some forgotten tongue of ancient time -- The very sounds of it were all unclean. And suddenly, the water stirred, and churned, and boiled, And from the depths arose a nameless thing; It had no face, but Oh, that awesome voice; It sounded like Sinatra crossed with Bing! Laneywillkillmetopiecesforthisbutyahgottaadmitihadyahfooledforaminuteortwohuh? (continued from page 1) I was thinking more along the lines of industrial occupations of an extremely arduous or dangerous nature, rather than of menial service, or such concluded on page 6 concluded on page 6 concluded on page 6 concluded on page 6!