DIY History | Transcribe | Hevelin Fanzines | Le Zombie, v. 4, issue 5, whole no. 40, July 1941

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Le Zombie, v. 4, issue 5, whole no. 40, July 1941

Page 4

(4)
PONG--FAN DETECTIVE
Squire Pong

(Note: this item was intended for Miske's Bizarre, was even advertised as coming in its second issue. When Fortier requested a Pong piece for his Dawn, this was reclaimed from Miske, but reclaimed too late to do Fortier any good. So, we print it ourselves; breaking for the first time a long-held editorial taboo, that is, printing something written by us)

In a recent mail, I received from Ron Holmes over in England a package of three of four British reprint editions of Unknown, altho it isn't the magazines upon which is based this startling essay, but rather the wrapping paper which housed the magazines in their journey across the Atlantic. I studies the bit of brown paper in astonishment and speculation; and suddenly similar occurances in the past mails remembered themselves to me. And so it was that I dug from my files the strange facts that make up this expose of fan economics. 

Fans is queer creatures; that you have been told before. But have you been informed they are tightwads as well? Tightwads in odd ways. Yessir...they are so tight with an old envelope or bit of stiff wrapping paper they force it into use many times over! So that when it eventually reaches a curious soul like myself, a mere dabbling into the elementals of detectivry enables me to tract the many weary miles of travelling the tired old wrapper or envelope has been put to. In addition, from various clues on and about the envelope, as well as its state of present appearance, I am able to decipher just what each fan enclosed each time it was mailed, as well as the tidiness and general state of the fan and his house as the bit of paper passed thru it; and sometimes the condition of the sender's health!

A few weeks before Chicon last year I received from Ackerman an envelope, a large one containing a fanmag, mailed flat. I studied the envelope intently, and pondered long over the circumstances that had forced it into such an amazing long life. And now, from my careful deductions, I set forth herewith the "history" of that envelope as I reconstructed it: 

(All dates 1940) On Jan. 3, Universal Pictures mailed to Ackerman six still from a Karloff picture. The steno who mailed the stills had just finished lunch; she had not eaten in the Studio Cafe (where the Stars eat), but in the womens locker room. ** On Jan. 6, Ackerman crossed out his address, turned the envelope upside down and mailed a five page letter to Reinsberg in Chicago. Ackerman had just finished a choclit [ma-illegible] before licking the stamps. ** Reinsberg, on Feb 14, sent his girl a Valentine in the envelope, taking pains to camouflage it with heavy red cellophane to hide all the other writing on it. **On March 23, the girl-friend used the envelope to send Korshak a 3 page mash note; she scented the note with lilac, and was smoking a Kool. ** On May 2, Korshak stuck two thin books to Perdue in Washington. Just what Korshak was doing five minutes previous to sealing the envelope cannot be stated here. 

Perdue immediately made use of the envelope to cart five old copies of Horror Stories to the Ivory Tower, visiting those lads. Wilson laid claim to the envelope and held it for two months. Late in July he sent a copy of Escape (with a blue cover) to Ackerman. It has been ascertained that at the time of mailing, Wilson had not washed his hands for five days. 
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(4) PONG--FAN DETECTIVE Squire Pong (Note: this item was intended for Miske's Bizarre, was even advertised as coming in its second issue. When Fortier requested a Pong piece for his Dawn, this was reclaimed from Miske, but reclaimed too late to do Fortier any good. So, we print it ourselves; breaking for the first time a long-held editorial taboo, that is, printing something written by us) In a recent mail, I received from Ron Holmes over in England a package of three of four British reprint editions of Unknown, altho it isn't the magazines upon which is based this startling essay, but rather the wrapping paper which housed the magazines in their journey across the Atlantic. I studies the bit of brown paper in astonishment and speculation; and suddenly similar occurances in the past mails remembered themselves to me. And so it was that I dug from my files the strange facts that make up this expose of fan economics. Fans is queer creatures; that you have been told before. But have you been informed they are tightwads as well? Tightwads in odd ways. Yessir...they are so tight with an old envelope or bit of stiff wrapping paper they force it into use many times over! So that when it eventually reaches a curious soul like myself, a mere dabbling into the elementals of detectivry enables me to tract the many weary miles of travelling the tired old wrapper or envelope has been put to. In addition, from various clues on and about the envelope, as well as its state of present appearance, I am able to decipher just what each fan enclosed each time it was mailed, as well as the tidiness and general state of the fan and his house as the bit of paper passed thru it; and sometimes the condition of the sender's health! A few weeks before Chicon last year I received from Ackerman an envelope, a large one containing a fanmag, mailed flat. I studied the envelope intently, and pondered long over the circumstances that had forced it into such an amazing long life. And now, from my careful deductions, I set forth herewith the "history" of that envelope as I reconstructed it: (All dates 1940) On Jan. 3, Universal Pictures mailed to Ackerman six still from a Karloff picture. The steno who mailed the stills had just finished lunch; she had not eaten in the Studio Cafe (where the Stars eat), but in the womens locker room. ** On Jan. 6, Ackerman crossed out his address, turned the envelope upside down and mailed a five page letter to Reinsberg in Chicago. Ackerman had just finished a choclit [ma-illegible] before licking the stamps. ** Reinsberg, on Feb 14, sent his girl a Valentine in the envelope, taking pains to camouflage it with heavy red cellophane to hide all the other writing on it. **On March 23, the girl-friend used the envelope to send Korshak a 3 page mash note; she scented the note with lilac, and was smoking a Kool. ** On May 2, Korshak stuck two thin books to Perdue in Washington. Just what Korshak was doing five minutes previous to sealing the envelope cannot be stated here. Perdue immediately made use of the envelope to cart five old copies of Horror Stories to the Ivory Tower, visiting those lads. Wilson laid claim to the envelope and held it for two months. Late in July he sent a copy of Escape (with a blue cover) to Ackerman. It has been ascertained that at the time of mailing, Wilson had not washed his hands for five days. (next page)