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Le Vombiteur, v. 1, issue 10, whole 10, January 21, 1939
Page 2
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LE VOMBITEUR PRESENTS: - SOFTLY, DEAR, SWEETLY BY CYRIL KORNBLUTH Slim throat, swear me a flicker-song Lest crook-toothed passion Crush from our joined and foetid groins The sap of consummation. Stir him a crusted swill In his slimy trough: Our screw-grained meat, my dear, Is rot, and rotten-soft. BELIEVEITORNOT DEPARTMENT Schacner and Hamilton (We Save The World, Inc.) write us the following advertising copy: "Now that the holidays are over, and winter has set in, this is the time to get that invasion trouble cleared up. Have you some little aliens in your home? Write or call us for prompt, efficient service (write attention JWCampbell, Jr. for easy installment-settlements! Partial pricelist follows: -- Martians . . . . . . . . three words for 10¢ Sun or Moon People . . . . [¼?] cent a word Gooey Bugs . . . . . . . . . . . . ½ cent a word Space-strains . . . . . . . . . 1 cent a word Novae, Negative Planetary Bodies, Hyperspace and time marauders and Impossible worlds . . . . . . 1½ cnts a word Terrestrial Disasters (of any and all kind) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1½ cnts a word Atomic Disorders . . . . . . 2 cnts a word (Disc, Spider, Globular, Glandular, Molecular, Perpendicular, Extra-dimensional, Mentanical, or Wiggi-men, free with atomic disorders.) Terrestrial Fascism . . . . 5 cnts a word Simultaneous Fascism ( extending t o the 8th order of simultaneous planes) --- Write us for a flat rate. (For protovombi, write to our Manhatten office: attention C. Kornbluth.) Which of these headquarters is the most convenient to you: Tweetchi-Gooji, Betelgeuse; Ughwakwak and Poo-Pooeypoo, Sirius; or our new headquarters stationed opposite the new-Soviet palace at Shugglevombia, RNWE-Satellitle 13? SCIENTIFANDOM ADVANCING Out of Philadelphia comes news at once commendable and regrettable. It seems, that, upon the introduction of the prevalant Science Fiction Declaration Against Fascism at a meeting of the Philadelphia SFL, there ensued a discussion during the course of which the name of one Jack Speer was mentioned. Member Kravitz, in reference to this personage, proposed a resolution to the effect that the club have no dealings whatsoever with people who retain or express fascist sympathies. A hot debate followed and eventually t h e resolution was put to a vote and defeated. Member Kravitz then showed his honour and integrity as a sincere fan by immediately resigning membership and leaving the club. It is such (all too few) incidents as these which serve to retain our somewhat-tottering faith in the innate intelligence and honour of science-fictions fans as such. DRAMATIS PERSONAE: -- Wollheim . . . . . . . . Voltaire in Abalone Michel . . . . . . . . . . Cassandrus, replete with alternative talent Pohl . . . . . . . . . . M'lord, the Commissar Leslie Perry . . . . She-Golem with Maternal instincts Kornbluth . . . . . . . Herr Professor-Doktor with Ferdinand wreath Gillespie . . . . . . . Comrade Philbert of Wadsworth Sylvia Rubin . . . . Vastallic feminine eternale Claire Beck . . . . . Messer Marco Polo of Lakeport W.S. Sykora . . . . . Metternich sans marble halls R.G. Thompson . . . Don Quixote of ye Seven Tongues Isaac Asimov . . . . Disraeli without curls Rubinson . . . . . . . . Chess Player by a Volcano Chester Cohen . . . One lasting restrain Richard Wilson Jr. . . . "And your toastmaster". OMIGAWD DEPARTMENT We wonder if the poem is correct. Cordially, Robert W. Lowndes & Le Vombiteur
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LE VOMBITEUR PRESENTS: - SOFTLY, DEAR, SWEETLY BY CYRIL KORNBLUTH Slim throat, swear me a flicker-song Lest crook-toothed passion Crush from our joined and foetid groins The sap of consummation. Stir him a crusted swill In his slimy trough: Our screw-grained meat, my dear, Is rot, and rotten-soft. BELIEVEITORNOT DEPARTMENT Schacner and Hamilton (We Save The World, Inc.) write us the following advertising copy: "Now that the holidays are over, and winter has set in, this is the time to get that invasion trouble cleared up. Have you some little aliens in your home? Write or call us for prompt, efficient service (write attention JWCampbell, Jr. for easy installment-settlements! Partial pricelist follows: -- Martians . . . . . . . . three words for 10¢ Sun or Moon People . . . . [¼?] cent a word Gooey Bugs . . . . . . . . . . . . ½ cent a word Space-strains . . . . . . . . . 1 cent a word Novae, Negative Planetary Bodies, Hyperspace and time marauders and Impossible worlds . . . . . . 1½ cnts a word Terrestrial Disasters (of any and all kind) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1½ cnts a word Atomic Disorders . . . . . . 2 cnts a word (Disc, Spider, Globular, Glandular, Molecular, Perpendicular, Extra-dimensional, Mentanical, or Wiggi-men, free with atomic disorders.) Terrestrial Fascism . . . . 5 cnts a word Simultaneous Fascism ( extending t o the 8th order of simultaneous planes) --- Write us for a flat rate. (For protovombi, write to our Manhatten office: attention C. Kornbluth.) Which of these headquarters is the most convenient to you: Tweetchi-Gooji, Betelgeuse; Ughwakwak and Poo-Pooeypoo, Sirius; or our new headquarters stationed opposite the new-Soviet palace at Shugglevombia, RNWE-Satellitle 13? SCIENTIFANDOM ADVANCING Out of Philadelphia comes news at once commendable and regrettable. It seems, that, upon the introduction of the prevalant Science Fiction Declaration Against Fascism at a meeting of the Philadelphia SFL, there ensued a discussion during the course of which the name of one Jack Speer was mentioned. Member Kravitz, in reference to this personage, proposed a resolution to the effect that the club have no dealings whatsoever with people who retain or express fascist sympathies. A hot debate followed and eventually t h e resolution was put to a vote and defeated. Member Kravitz then showed his honour and integrity as a sincere fan by immediately resigning membership and leaving the club. It is such (all too few) incidents as these which serve to retain our somewhat-tottering faith in the innate intelligence and honour of science-fictions fans as such. DRAMATIS PERSONAE: -- Wollheim . . . . . . . . Voltaire in Abalone Michel . . . . . . . . . . Cassandrus, replete with alternative talent Pohl . . . . . . . . . . M'lord, the Commissar Leslie Perry . . . . She-Golem with Maternal instincts Kornbluth . . . . . . . Herr Professor-Doktor with Ferdinand wreath Gillespie . . . . . . . Comrade Philbert of Wadsworth Sylvia Rubin . . . . Vastallic feminine eternale Claire Beck . . . . . Messer Marco Polo of Lakeport W.S. Sykora . . . . . Metternich sans marble halls R.G. Thompson . . . Don Quixote of ye Seven Tongues Isaac Asimov . . . . Disraeli without curls Rubinson . . . . . . . . Chess Player by a Volcano Chester Cohen . . . One lasting restrain Richard Wilson Jr. . . . "And your toastmaster". OMIGAWD DEPARTMENT We wonder if the poem is correct. Cordially, Robert W. Lowndes & Le Vombiteur
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