DIY History | Transcribe | Hevelin Fanzines | Horizons, v. 6, issue 3, whole no. 22, March 1945

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Horizons, v. 6, issue 3, whole no. 22, March 1945

Page 8

8
22 Horizons

Anecdota Deglerania
by
Suddsy Schwartz & Larry Shaw

It is with malice aforethought that we set down these disconnected memories of an otherwise pleasant summer with Clod Degler on our floor and in our hair and soup. Not that it is necessary to start at the beginning, but we may as well start with Schenectacon. Degler himself related this little incident to us. It seems he showed up at 1301 State about six o'clock one fine Sunday morning, and, seeing the number on the door of the dress shop downstairs, started banging merrily away. Getting no response at first, he proceeded to yell, "Hey, Hermit, stop snoring and come out!" At long last he was answered by a gentleman in a bathrobe (who, it was later learned, was not related to the young lady owning and living in the place; hah, scandal on the Shaw front-doorstep!_ who informed him that he had never heard of Larry Shaw, and in all probability told him to get the hell out of there. Clod got, and returned only after we had set off down the Hudson for New York City.

We are of the opinion that Clod hasn't evolved very far form the apes. To prove this, we would like to point out his simian conduct on subway cars. In the center of each car there are four upright posts. Clod would start at the far end of the car, dash up to the post, and swing merrily around and around and around on it, laughing loudly all the while. There was one time he wanted to show us he could chin himself. Grabbing a couple of straps, and with a superhuman effort, he pulled himself up and swung back and forth. The damn fool's feet almost went out of the window. Unfortunately, they didn't -- and neither did the rest of the carcass.

It should be told, since Degler has printed distorted versions, exactly how Clod came to be a resident of Little Jarnevon. Briefly, we wuz duped! One afternoon at the Unger Emporium, just before Li'l J came into existence, Clod got Larry aside and, in whispers, asked, "Larry, would it be okay with you if I came along when you and Suddsy went to look for your room? Suddsy says it's all right with him, and I've had experience at that sort of thing." Shaw, poor jerk, said it would be okay. And then Clod rambled on and on, and it finally became evident that he expected to look for a room big enough for three, which he would share at such times as his travels brought him to New York City, but which would be all ours (including the trio-sized rent, of course) at all other times. Well, we didn't take him when we went to get the room, and we got a room for two. But when Mrs. Unger came home and found that in her nice apartment, there was a loud explosion. We were softhearted, we didn't know Clod then as well as we did later, and -- well, there he was on our formerly spotless floor. Ah, us!

It was Thursday -- a rainy Thursday. Clod, Suddsy, and Julie were at the Unger Emporium. During a lull in the rain, a -- er -- broad, neither pretty nor even remotely attractive, came up to buy some garlic. Clod waited on her. He started talking to her. Poor kid, she didn't know what she had let herself into. Clod talked her ear off. Then he made a momentous discovery. She was a fan! Honestagawd. Her brother once read an Amazing. Wham! Clod started to convert her to the Cosmic Circle. Wham! The skies opened up and it started to rain like fury. Julie and Suddsy dashed around like mad trying to get the display of merchandise inside. Clod was talking to the broad (name of Gloria, by the way) right smack in the middle of the doorway. Suddsy and Julie had to elbow him aside every time they went in or out.

Finally the kid realized what she was getting into and tried to get away. She couldn't. The conversation was going something like this:

She: "I've got to be going now..."

Clod: "You can't go; it's still raining. Now the Cosmic Circle..."

"I like to walk in the rain."

Saving...

8 22 Horizons Anecdota Deglerania by Suddsy Schwartz & Larry Shaw It is with malice aforethought that we set down these disconnected memories of an otherwise pleasant summer with Clod Degler on our floor and in our hair and soup. Not that it is necessary to start at the beginning, but we may as well start with Schenectacon. Degler himself related this little incident to us. It seems he showed up at 1301 State about six o'clock one fine Sunday morning, and, seeing the number on the door of the dress shop downstairs, started banging merrily away. Getting no response at first, he proceeded to yell, "Hey, Hermit, stop snoring and come out!" At long last he was answered by a gentleman in a bathrobe (who, it was later learned, was not related to the young lady owning and living in the place; hah, scandal on the Shaw front-doorstep!_ who informed him that he had never heard of Larry Shaw, and in all probability told him to get the hell out of there. Clod got, and returned only after we had set off down the Hudson for New York City. We are of the opinion that Clod hasn't evolved very far form the apes. To prove this, we would like to point out his simian conduct on subway cars. In the center of each car there are four upright posts. Clod would start at the far end of the car, dash up to the post, and swing merrily around and around and around on it, laughing loudly all the while. There was one time he wanted to show us he could chin himself. Grabbing a couple of straps, and with a superhuman effort, he pulled himself up and swung back and forth. The damn fool's feet almost went out of the window. Unfortunately, they didn't -- and neither did the rest of the carcass. It should be told, since Degler has printed distorted versions, exactly how Clod came to be a resident of Little Jarnevon. Briefly, we wuz duped! One afternoon at the Unger Emporium, just before Li'l J came into existence, Clod got Larry aside and, in whispers, asked, "Larry, would it be okay with you if I came along when you and Suddsy went to look for your room? Suddsy says it's all right with him, and I've had experience at that sort of thing." Shaw, poor jerk, said it would be okay. And then Clod rambled on and on, and it finally became evident that he expected to look for a room big enough for three, which he would share at such times as his travels brought him to New York City, but which would be all ours (including the trio-sized rent, of course) at all other times. Well, we didn't take him when we went to get the room, and we got a room for two. But when Mrs. Unger came home and found that in her nice apartment, there was a loud explosion. We were softhearted, we didn't know Clod then as well as we did later, and -- well, there he was on our formerly spotless floor. Ah, us! It was Thursday -- a rainy Thursday. Clod, Suddsy, and Julie were at the Unger Emporium. During a lull in the rain, a -- er -- broad, neither pretty nor even remotely attractive, came up to buy some garlic. Clod waited on her. He started talking to her. Poor kid, she didn't know what she had let herself into. Clod talked her ear off. Then he made a momentous discovery. She was a fan! Honestagawd. Her brother once read an Amazing. Wham! Clod started to convert her to the Cosmic Circle. Wham! The skies opened up and it started to rain like fury. Julie and Suddsy dashed around like mad trying to get the display of merchandise inside. Clod was talking to the broad (name of Gloria, by the way) right smack in the middle of the doorway. Suddsy and Julie had to elbow him aside every time they went in or out. Finally the kid realized what she was getting into and tried to get away. She couldn't. The conversation was going something like this: She: "I've got to be going now..." Clod: "You can't go; it's still raining. Now the Cosmic Circle..." "I like to walk in the rain."