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Horizons, v. 6, issue 3, whole no. 22, March 1945
Page 9
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Horizons 22 9 Anecdota Deglerania "Wait a minute; I'll get an umbrella. Hey, Julie, got an umbrella?" "I like to walk bareheaded in the rain." "What a coincidence! So do I! I'll walk you to the subway." "Oh, I couldn't think of it; they need you here." "No, they don't; I'll ask if I can go. Hey, Julie, I'm going to walk Gloria to the subway." So he came back a little later, dripping wet, and informed us that Gloria had joined the Cosmic Circle, that she was going to write an article for him, and that he had made a date with her for Saturday. On Friday night he got ready for his date. He washed (!), stripped down to the buff and washed his underwear (which at one time was white, we think), and shaved, neglecting to use any kind of lather on his kisser. Then he stretched out on the floor and went to sleep. Being a modest jerk, he covered his nudity (as they said in 1890) with a towel. Came at 7:30 a. m. Suddsy got up and made a wee bit of noise as he washed. The noise disturbed Clod and he turned over in his sleep, the towel sliding off as he did so. Subconsciously, and still asleep, he reached out and recovered himself with the towel, thus saving his honor -- or something. To cut 24 hours down to a few words, Gloria didn't show up on Saturday. Clod, poor Clod was broken-hearted. Then a beam of joy struck him. Gloria hadn't stood him up; nooo-o-o-, she was sick! She had a cold; she had a headache; she had Twonk's disease. But she didn't, she couldn't, stand Cassanova Degler up. And this went on for two (2) days. Then Suddsy got a vicious idea. He remembered how Tucker, one April first, had sent all the New York fans postcards saying he was in town and to phone him at such-and-such a number, said number turning out to be the Bronx Zoo. So Suddsy had Larry write a note, saying Gloria was sick and would Clod please telephone her? The number, plagiarists that we are, was also the Zoo. Clod bit. Only Suddsy, the damn fool, hadn't remembered the number right and the one Clod called wasn't even listed. So he called information and got her correct number. Twenty cents he spent talking to her, and then she asked him to call back later. He did, and it cost another twenty cents. This time, however, Gloria wasn't in (shucks) and he talked to her kid sister. He was asked to call back a third time, and he did, this time using the Unger phone. Since he didn't have to pay anything he talked for a half-hour this time. Finally he got another date. Came time for Clod to go to Gloria's house. "Remember," said Suddsy, "be in by midnight, or you don't get in until 3 a. m., when Larry gets back from work at the Times." "Yessir," said Clod, and off he went. Suddsy went to a movie, because he didn't think Clod would be back at midnight. About one ayem Suddsy got back from the show, put his key in the lock -- and Clod opened the door from the inside. "How the hell did you get in?" demanded Suddsy. Clod wouldn't talk. But the next day the landlady said plenty -- to Larry. It seems that Clod got back at midnight as he promised and rang the downstairs bell. No one answered. He rang again -- louder. No answer. A louder ring. A still louder ring. Finally the landlady let him in. He went up to Li'l J, and tapped politely on the door. No answer. A slightly louder tap. No answer. He put his ear to the door and heard Suddsy snoring. He kicked and pounded on the door and yelled, "Suddsy, get up! Let me in!" Suddsy allegedly snored on. Finally, the landlady came up and let him in, so the other tenants would get some sleep. When she saw Larry the next day she gave him hell. Oh, yeah, the date. A fiasco. Gloria played the piano for Clod. They sat and discussed the Cosmic Circle. Then Gloria sat under a lamp for him with the rest of the room dark so he could gaze at her beauty; "Just like a wonderful
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Horizons 22 9 Anecdota Deglerania "Wait a minute; I'll get an umbrella. Hey, Julie, got an umbrella?" "I like to walk bareheaded in the rain." "What a coincidence! So do I! I'll walk you to the subway." "Oh, I couldn't think of it; they need you here." "No, they don't; I'll ask if I can go. Hey, Julie, I'm going to walk Gloria to the subway." So he came back a little later, dripping wet, and informed us that Gloria had joined the Cosmic Circle, that she was going to write an article for him, and that he had made a date with her for Saturday. On Friday night he got ready for his date. He washed (!), stripped down to the buff and washed his underwear (which at one time was white, we think), and shaved, neglecting to use any kind of lather on his kisser. Then he stretched out on the floor and went to sleep. Being a modest jerk, he covered his nudity (as they said in 1890) with a towel. Came at 7:30 a. m. Suddsy got up and made a wee bit of noise as he washed. The noise disturbed Clod and he turned over in his sleep, the towel sliding off as he did so. Subconsciously, and still asleep, he reached out and recovered himself with the towel, thus saving his honor -- or something. To cut 24 hours down to a few words, Gloria didn't show up on Saturday. Clod, poor Clod was broken-hearted. Then a beam of joy struck him. Gloria hadn't stood him up; nooo-o-o-, she was sick! She had a cold; she had a headache; she had Twonk's disease. But she didn't, she couldn't, stand Cassanova Degler up. And this went on for two (2) days. Then Suddsy got a vicious idea. He remembered how Tucker, one April first, had sent all the New York fans postcards saying he was in town and to phone him at such-and-such a number, said number turning out to be the Bronx Zoo. So Suddsy had Larry write a note, saying Gloria was sick and would Clod please telephone her? The number, plagiarists that we are, was also the Zoo. Clod bit. Only Suddsy, the damn fool, hadn't remembered the number right and the one Clod called wasn't even listed. So he called information and got her correct number. Twenty cents he spent talking to her, and then she asked him to call back later. He did, and it cost another twenty cents. This time, however, Gloria wasn't in (shucks) and he talked to her kid sister. He was asked to call back a third time, and he did, this time using the Unger phone. Since he didn't have to pay anything he talked for a half-hour this time. Finally he got another date. Came time for Clod to go to Gloria's house. "Remember," said Suddsy, "be in by midnight, or you don't get in until 3 a. m., when Larry gets back from work at the Times." "Yessir," said Clod, and off he went. Suddsy went to a movie, because he didn't think Clod would be back at midnight. About one ayem Suddsy got back from the show, put his key in the lock -- and Clod opened the door from the inside. "How the hell did you get in?" demanded Suddsy. Clod wouldn't talk. But the next day the landlady said plenty -- to Larry. It seems that Clod got back at midnight as he promised and rang the downstairs bell. No one answered. He rang again -- louder. No answer. A louder ring. A still louder ring. Finally the landlady let him in. He went up to Li'l J, and tapped politely on the door. No answer. A slightly louder tap. No answer. He put his ear to the door and heard Suddsy snoring. He kicked and pounded on the door and yelled, "Suddsy, get up! Let me in!" Suddsy allegedly snored on. Finally, the landlady came up and let him in, so the other tenants would get some sleep. When she saw Larry the next day she gave him hell. Oh, yeah, the date. A fiasco. Gloria played the piano for Clod. They sat and discussed the Cosmic Circle. Then Gloria sat under a lamp for him with the rest of the room dark so he could gaze at her beauty; "Just like a wonderful
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