DIY History | Transcribe | Hevelin Fanzines | Imagination, v. 1, issue 11, whole no. 11, August 1938

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Imagination, v. 1, issue 11, whole no. 11, August 1938

Page 8

DEAD RECKONING
By A Ghoul
[image: very science fictiony looking ghoul caricature]

It's aboutime somebody told the Truth about Ghouls. & I'm the ghoul to do it: Bein' a decent, self-respectin' bodysnatcher I'm gonna set this grave matter strait. It aint easy to see your Race libeld & ridiculed by a buncha wampus-weirdies.

This guy Kuttner is gonna get his- Of all the lowdown, pernicious panderers of malicious info I've ever met..! Or nibbled at. Wait'll they bury him! He'll taste good in ghoulash.

In the first place...if HK wasnt so shy he'd know by now that Oliver's really Olive. I oughta know: She was my ghoul-friend before she took up with that nobody Hanky-Panky. 

Us ghouls aint nobody's fools. What's more, no ghoul with any pride goes around gibbering. Sure we eat yuh when you're dead -- so what? A ghoul's gotta live.

I might briefly speak of the history of the Ghoul race. We trace our ancestorage back to the same puddle of protoplasm you humans do. In the beginning we lived entirely in Catholic graveyards but due to the odd, monumental environment our children began to be born with x-eyes. There was so many crosses around. So now our population's in
Protestant bone yards & we're gettin' along swell!
Used to be easy for a ghoul to live before they began embalmin' you buggers. Meat's meat but when it's fulla formaldehyde it's no treat!
we used to matke enuf bone-money outa gold dental fillings to buy our catsup but now the undertakers see that there ain't no gold left on the stiff
before they plant our provender. What an age we live in! Ethix?   Haha!   I take special delite In diggln' up an ex-undertaker.
     Us ghouls think youse yaps is prize saps for throwing away so much good meat. But you ain't sobbin'—that's yer loss is our gain. There's enuf to go around & after all we do like you. We gotta like you to eat you. It is a fact that is little known that the old saying "Honey I love you so much I could eat you" originated with the ghouls. & that ain't all—you've all said "I'd like to knock him for a ghoul" ... where do you suppose that came from?
     Carnivorous by nature, nevertheless we enjoy an occasional cauliflower ear. &—yum yum!—how we like to come across a corpse with a Big Apple! 
     Well, that's all I gotta say now. Except just remember this: People are dyln' every day who've never died before.
W̲e̲'̲l̲l̲ ̲b̲e̲ ̲s̲e̲e̲i̲n̲'̲ ̲y̲o̲u̲!

VERSE OF THE IMAGI-NATION

"TIs a Sinema", Ray Bradbury:
     I think that I shall never see Flash Gordon as he ought to be. Midst growls of pain & awful lafter each Saturday I see a chapter. I cannot bear to see him
more for he Is really such a bore.
     & Tarzan! too, is all so poor: A shrinking violet demure who beats upon his frazzled chest & turns his puss into the west to roar defiance with..."F̲r̲e̲s̲h̲ ̲f̲i̲s̲h̲l"  --I think that he's a  lousy dish...

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DEAD RECKONING By A Ghoul [image: very science fictiony looking ghoul caricature] It's aboutime somebody told the Truth about Ghouls. & I'm the ghoul to do it: Bein' a decent, self-respectin' bodysnatcher I'm gonna set this grave matter strait. It aint easy to see your Race libeld & ridiculed by a buncha wampus-weirdies. This guy Kuttner is gonna get his- Of all the lowdown, pernicious panderers of malicious info I've ever met..! Or nibbled at. Wait'll they bury him! He'll taste good in ghoulash. In the first place...if HK wasnt so shy he'd know by now that Oliver's really Olive. I oughta know: She was my ghoul-friend before she took up with that nobody Hanky-Panky. Us ghouls aint nobody's fools. What's more, no ghoul with any pride goes around gibbering. Sure we eat yuh when you're dead -- so what? A ghoul's gotta live. I might briefly speak of the history of the Ghoul race. We trace our ancestorage back to the same puddle of protoplasm you humans do. In the beginning we lived entirely in Catholic graveyards but due to the odd, monumental environment our children began to be born with x-eyes. There was so many crosses around. So now our population's in Protestant bone yards & we're gettin' along swell! Used to be easy for a ghoul to live before they began embalmin' you buggers. Meat's meat but when it's fulla formaldehyde it's no treat! we used to matke enuf bone-money outa gold dental fillings to buy our catsup but now the undertakers see that there ain't no gold left on the stiff before they plant our provender. What an age we live in! Ethix? Haha! I take special delite In diggln' up an ex-undertaker. Us ghouls think youse yaps is prize saps for throwing away so much good meat. But you ain't sobbin'—that's yer loss is our gain. There's enuf to go around & after all we do like you. We gotta like you to eat you. It is a fact that is little known that the old saying "Honey I love you so much I could eat you" originated with the ghouls. & that ain't all—you've all said "I'd like to knock him for a ghoul" ... where do you suppose that came from? Carnivorous by nature, nevertheless we enjoy an occasional cauliflower ear. &—yum yum!—how we like to come across a corpse with a Big Apple! Well, that's all I gotta say now. Except just remember this: People are dyln' every day who've never died before. W̲e̲'̲l̲l̲ ̲b̲e̲ ̲s̲e̲e̲i̲n̲'̲ ̲y̲o̲u̲! VERSE OF THE IMAGI-NATION "TIs a Sinema", Ray Bradbury: I think that I shall never see Flash Gordon as he ought to be. Midst growls of pain & awful lafter each Saturday I see a chapter. I cannot bear to see him more for he Is really such a bore. & Tarzan! too, is all so poor: A shrinking violet demure who beats upon his frazzled chest & turns his puss into the west to roar defiance with..."F̲r̲e̲s̲h̲ ̲f̲i̲s̲h̲l" --I think that he's a lousy dish...