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Science Fiction Abattoir, v. 1, issue 1, 1939

Page 2

SCIENCE FICTION ABATTOIR - A Vulcan Publication - CONVENTION ISSUE V. 1 N1

After careful consideration on the subject of a contents page I the editor, have come to the conclusion very few people will even bother to read this and those that do will have names to call the articles, different than those I have given them.  So taboo on the contents page.

COVER DRAWING EXPLANATION
NUMBER ONE -- no those aren't stalagtites, and that isn't the entrance to a cave.  those little items of hardware are used by this bird on the heavier veins of the throat, while the smaller more blunt ones in between, are used in the lighter vien.
NUMBER TWO -- I think this in the best of circles is called the proboskis or something in that line.  It is well protected with hair to rake the dirt out of smells.
NUMBER THREE -- Jeepers creepers!  whered he get those peepers?  I could go on to say "TThe better to see you with my deat".
NUMBER FOUR -- I bet you that I was going to say that was a wrinkle caused from worry.  But it isn't thats a brain case of the duo type.  the front portion is used as a sort of wind sheild to keep the hair from blowing.  The second portion is used as a landing feild for bugs, for want of something better.
NUMBER GIVE -- these are used as wings, they are used also as dirt collectors and pick up many a juicy piece of ofal.
NUMBER SIX -- Now dont ask me what that is guess.

By order of the interplanetary congress, the undernamed will be sent to the Borzk Penal Colonies, for reasons described below;
JOHN W. CAMPBELL for his egotisticle [sic] downlook.
SAM MOSCOWITZ " The grand old man of fandom" for that little word I.
JOHN MITCHELL FOR His misused and over done foreign phrases.
HOY PING PONG for just being.
FORREST J ACKERMANN for the influx of Esperanto into Science Fiction.
RICHARD WILSON for acting like the moon.
DONOLD A. WOLHEIM for his incessent gibbering.
RAPalmer for his dislike of criticisizm.
DALE HART for bootlegging Black Widow Spiders.
JAMES V. TAURASI for bringing to life  Bob and Coso.
SULLY ROBERDS for his illiterate punctiuation [sic] and spelling.
JIM AVERY for not carrying on a good thing.
DOC LOWNDES for messing with poletics, when he would make a much better Sciencefictionist.
PAUL for his disgusting red skies.
CYRIL (Iama man) KORNBLUTH for his kerny deep purple.
All of the comunists and also that fascist to add some color to the colony.
JACK CHAPMAN MISKE for being to damn hard to please.

ARE YOU GOING TO ATTEND THE WITH THE IDEA OF ADVANCING FANDOM???????? OR IS THERE SOMEBODY YOU DONT LIKE GOING TO BE THERE?

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SCIENCE FICTION ABATTOIR - A Vulcan Publication - CONVENTION ISSUE V. 1 N1 After careful consideration on the subject of a contents page I the editor, have come to the conclusion very few people will even bother to read this and those that do will have names to call the articles, different than those I have given them. So taboo on the contents page. COVER DRAWING EXPLANATION NUMBER ONE -- no those aren't stalagtites, and that isn't the entrance to a cave. those little items of hardware are used by this bird on the heavier veins of the throat, while the smaller more blunt ones in between, are used in the lighter vien. NUMBER TWO -- I think this in the best of circles is called the proboskis or something in that line. It is well protected with hair to rake the dirt out of smells. NUMBER THREE -- Jeepers creepers! whered he get those peepers? I could go on to say "TThe better to see you with my deat". NUMBER FOUR -- I bet you that I was going to say that was a wrinkle caused from worry. But it isn't thats a brain case of the duo type. the front portion is used as a sort of wind sheild to keep the hair from blowing. The second portion is used as a landing feild for bugs, for want of something better. NUMBER GIVE -- these are used as wings, they are used also as dirt collectors and pick up many a juicy piece of ofal. NUMBER SIX -- Now dont ask me what that is guess. By order of the interplanetary congress, the undernamed will be sent to the Borzk Penal Colonies, for reasons described below; JOHN W. CAMPBELL for his egotisticle [sic] downlook. SAM MOSCOWITZ " The grand old man of fandom" for that little word I. JOHN MITCHELL FOR His misused and over done foreign phrases. HOY PING PONG for just being. FORREST J ACKERMANN for the influx of Esperanto into Science Fiction. RICHARD WILSON for acting like the moon. DONOLD A. WOLHEIM for his incessent gibbering. RAPalmer for his dislike of criticisizm. DALE HART for bootlegging Black Widow Spiders. JAMES V. TAURASI for bringing to life Bob and Coso. SULLY ROBERDS for his illiterate punctiuation [sic] and spelling. JIM AVERY for not carrying on a good thing. DOC LOWNDES for messing with poletics, when he would make a much better Sciencefictionist. PAUL for his disgusting red skies. CYRIL (Iama man) KORNBLUTH for his kerny deep purple. All of the comunists and also that fascist to add some color to the colony. JACK CHAPMAN MISKE for being to damn hard to please. ARE YOU GOING TO ATTEND THE WITH THE IDEA OF ADVANCING FANDOM???????? OR IS THERE SOMEBODY YOU DONT LIKE GOING TO BE THERE?