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Infinite, v. 1, issue 1, [1941?]

Page 10

INFINITES
         FANOGRAPHIES

         I was born in Russia on January 2, 1920. Julian calendar. According to the Gregorian calendar then, my birhday is January 15, but all the records say January 2, so let it be January 2. As a matter of fact, it's better, because it is now so close to New Years Day that I can celebrate both at once and get one hangover for two holidays, which is better than you can do in Cimbels bathment.

    The exact place of birth was in a place called Petrovich about sighty miles south of Smolensk (the news these days being what they are surely you all know where smokonsk is). Besides myself, Petrovich at the time held about seventy-five million asserted relatives. I now live in New York and have only four. Such are the viciss - itudes of life.

      Incidentally, it is not generally known, but the real reason for the Carman - Russian war is that both countries want to own the particular hunk of land on which I was born. That explain just why such terrific fighting is going on around Smolensk.

      I came to America at the tender age of three, and an American citizen of the most confirmed character. I can't speak a word of Russian; but I can speak English fluently, and can also get away with Yiddish, if you don't listen to the grammar.

    At the present moment (let's see, 4) minus 20 is---hmm----) I am twenty one and little over. So you see, I am a man. In fact, I registered this month---for the craft, no less---so that proves it. Moreover, I vote for the first time this Novemoer, and that proves it again. And besides, I grew a mustache of the luxuriant type May before last and it's bean flourishing ever since in unbelieveable splendor, and better proof than that, you can't have.

      I've lived in Brooklyn all my life (except for my early adventurous career in formign parts) and am a staunch and sturdy Brooklynite. However, I despise the Brooklyn Dodgure. I am a Giant fan, no less. (Yay, Terry!!)

      I started getting an education as a tender lad and haven't managed to get finished yet. It's very embarrassing. People stop me in the streets and say, "Whit a great, hulking young man like you still goes to school. My! My! "Unfortunately, such is the case. The latest object of my vile craving for knowledge is Columbia University, which has now suffered in noble silence while for six years I have been a member of its student body;---four years as undergraduate, and two years as a graduate student of chemistry. It has bestowed upon me in return a pair of degress, to wit, B.S and M.A. together with eloquent looks as if to say, "Now will you get out?"

         But I won't. I'm after a Ph.D. and it's just barely within the bounds of possibility that I might get it someday (just barely). Just shows you to what depths Columbia can sink to.

                              (cont. on next page)

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INFINITES FANOGRAPHIES I was born in Russia on January 2, 1920. Julian calendar. According to the Gregorian calendar then, my birhday is January 15, but all the records say January 2, so let it be January 2. As a matter of fact, it's better, because it is now so close to New Years Day that I can celebrate both at once and get one hangover for two holidays, which is better than you can do in Cimbels bathment. The exact place of birth was in a place called Petrovich about sighty miles south of Smolensk (the news these days being what they are surely you all know where smokonsk is). Besides myself, Petrovich at the time held about seventy-five million asserted relatives. I now live in New York and have only four. Such are the viciss - itudes of life. Incidentally, it is not generally known, but the real reason for the Carman - Russian war is that both countries want to own the particular hunk of land on which I was born. That explain just why such terrific fighting is going on around Smolensk. I came to America at the tender age of three, and an American citizen of the most confirmed character. I can't speak a word of Russian; but I can speak English fluently, and can also get away with Yiddish, if you don't listen to the grammar. At the present moment (let's see, 4) minus 20 is---hmm----) I am twenty one and little over. So you see, I am a man. In fact, I registered this month---for the craft, no less---so that proves it. Moreover, I vote for the first time this Novemoer, and that proves it again. And besides, I grew a mustache of the luxuriant type May before last and it's bean flourishing ever since in unbelieveable splendor, and better proof than that, you can't have. I've lived in Brooklyn all my life (except for my early adventurous career in formign parts) and am a staunch and sturdy Brooklynite. However, I despise the Brooklyn Dodgure. I am a Giant fan, no less. (Yay, Terry!!) I started getting an education as a tender lad and haven't managed to get finished yet. It's very embarrassing. People stop me in the streets and say, "Whit a great, hulking young man like you still goes to school. My! My! "Unfortunately, such is the case. The latest object of my vile craving for knowledge is Columbia University, which has now suffered in noble silence while for six years I have been a member of its student body;---four years as undergraduate, and two years as a graduate student of chemistry. It has bestowed upon me in return a pair of degress, to wit, B.S and M.A. together with eloquent looks as if to say, "Now will you get out?" But I won't. I'm after a Ph.D. and it's just barely within the bounds of possibility that I might get it someday (just barely). Just shows you to what depths Columbia can sink to. (cont. on next page)