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Spaceship, issue 10, October 1950
Page 4
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4 "THE EXTERMINATORS" by DAVID ENGLISH LARRY BARNES HAD AWAKENED expecting nothing to mar the placidity of that halcyon spring day. He had, for the first time in many months, thought of his alarm clock as an angelic harbinger of dawn, instead of some sadistic ogre which delighted in tearing him bodily from the arms of Morpheus. After dressing quickly he rushed downstairs, optimistically looking forward to a cup of delicious coffeedrunk between ecstatic mouthfuls of hot, golden-brown toast. He made the coffee and poured. Then he reached into the cupboard and drew forth a bowl of sugar. Without looking he emptied the correct amount into the cup. The he gazed at the coffee for a happy moment. And his happiness lasted only for a moment, for writing in the cup were several very agitated ants! "Damn!", he swore simply, and then more elaborately, "Goddamn!". Having assured himself that divine wrath would fall upon thhe hapless ants, he emptied the cup into the sink. Then with utmost care he washed the ants' scalded remains down the drain. "The cupboard's probably full of them", he said angrily. He went to see. It was. He swore again and determined to put a stop to this unholy violation of the precinct of his cupboard. He went to the phonebook and thumbed through the yellow pages. After much labor he discovered a page that was headed "Exterminators". Under that it asked that he "See 'Pest Control'". He did. Under Pest Control he discovered that such work would be done inexpensively and confidentially by Mr. R. Jones. He dialed Mr. Jones' number and waited. A moment later, a dry voice informed him he was speaking with "R. Jones--Exterminator". The voice quoted the rates. Larry askedd "how much would it be to free my home from pests?" "Well", said Jones, "it shouldn't cost too much--but I'll have to look the job over to be sure. When would it be convenient?" "As soon as possible", said Larry. "This morning if you can come." "I think I can. What's your address?" Larry gave him the desired information and hung up. He went into the kitchen and inspected the ants again. "I'll soon be rid of you", he said, pointing an accusing finger. The ants did not care. They went on with their feast. He went into the living room, intending to read a magazine until
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4 "THE EXTERMINATORS" by DAVID ENGLISH LARRY BARNES HAD AWAKENED expecting nothing to mar the placidity of that halcyon spring day. He had, for the first time in many months, thought of his alarm clock as an angelic harbinger of dawn, instead of some sadistic ogre which delighted in tearing him bodily from the arms of Morpheus. After dressing quickly he rushed downstairs, optimistically looking forward to a cup of delicious coffeedrunk between ecstatic mouthfuls of hot, golden-brown toast. He made the coffee and poured. Then he reached into the cupboard and drew forth a bowl of sugar. Without looking he emptied the correct amount into the cup. The he gazed at the coffee for a happy moment. And his happiness lasted only for a moment, for writing in the cup were several very agitated ants! "Damn!", he swore simply, and then more elaborately, "Goddamn!". Having assured himself that divine wrath would fall upon thhe hapless ants, he emptied the cup into the sink. Then with utmost care he washed the ants' scalded remains down the drain. "The cupboard's probably full of them", he said angrily. He went to see. It was. He swore again and determined to put a stop to this unholy violation of the precinct of his cupboard. He went to the phonebook and thumbed through the yellow pages. After much labor he discovered a page that was headed "Exterminators". Under that it asked that he "See 'Pest Control'". He did. Under Pest Control he discovered that such work would be done inexpensively and confidentially by Mr. R. Jones. He dialed Mr. Jones' number and waited. A moment later, a dry voice informed him he was speaking with "R. Jones--Exterminator". The voice quoted the rates. Larry askedd "how much would it be to free my home from pests?" "Well", said Jones, "it shouldn't cost too much--but I'll have to look the job over to be sure. When would it be convenient?" "As soon as possible", said Larry. "This morning if you can come." "I think I can. What's your address?" Larry gave him the desired information and hung up. He went into the kitchen and inspected the ants again. "I'll soon be rid of you", he said, pointing an accusing finger. The ants did not care. They went on with their feast. He went into the living room, intending to read a magazine until
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