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Erebus, issue 4, 1943
Page 11
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[Header] EREBUS 11 [/Header] [Red lettering] "Shoer" {/Red lettering] A Martian Anedote by Cobbler Pong The richest men on Mars are the shoemakers. And no wonder. Consider their trade: There is for example the Martian centipede, a semi-intelligent, semi-civilized creature which hangs around the fringes of the Earthmen's centers, and holds a spot in the Martian social scheme somewhat akin to our early Indian. To exhibit its streaks of "civilization" the centipede is addicted to flashy ear muffs and yellow shoes. A common sight on almost any Martian desert is the dandified, lonely centipede, snaking his way across the sands bedecked in a pair of bright red, or yellow, or green ear muffs, and every foot but one incased in a yellow sport shoe. Certain natural habits demand they keep at least one foot bare. Inasmuch as leather isn't too plentiful on Mars, there being no bovines present because of insufficient pasturage, most centipedes furnish the leather for their shoes from their old skins, which the discard each spring. Should it happen that their skins yield too little leather to shoe themselves they often bring in the cast-off skins of other members of the family no longer in need of skin. A standing joke told by miners, and attributed to a curious centipede character named Ragtime Charlie, runs as follows: Engaging some miner in conversation for the purpose of caging drinks, ragtime Charlie will suddenly lift his twelfth foot (left side), point to the shoe, and exclaim: "See that? I always wanted to plant my foot in my mother-in-law's face!" However, readers are reminded that the anecdte has been expurgated by the editors. [illustration: Centipede with earmuffs and shoes]
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[Header] EREBUS 11 [/Header] [Red lettering] "Shoer" {/Red lettering] A Martian Anedote by Cobbler Pong The richest men on Mars are the shoemakers. And no wonder. Consider their trade: There is for example the Martian centipede, a semi-intelligent, semi-civilized creature which hangs around the fringes of the Earthmen's centers, and holds a spot in the Martian social scheme somewhat akin to our early Indian. To exhibit its streaks of "civilization" the centipede is addicted to flashy ear muffs and yellow shoes. A common sight on almost any Martian desert is the dandified, lonely centipede, snaking his way across the sands bedecked in a pair of bright red, or yellow, or green ear muffs, and every foot but one incased in a yellow sport shoe. Certain natural habits demand they keep at least one foot bare. Inasmuch as leather isn't too plentiful on Mars, there being no bovines present because of insufficient pasturage, most centipedes furnish the leather for their shoes from their old skins, which the discard each spring. Should it happen that their skins yield too little leather to shoe themselves they often bring in the cast-off skins of other members of the family no longer in need of skin. A standing joke told by miners, and attributed to a curious centipede character named Ragtime Charlie, runs as follows: Engaging some miner in conversation for the purpose of caging drinks, ragtime Charlie will suddenly lift his twelfth foot (left side), point to the shoe, and exclaim: "See that? I always wanted to plant my foot in my mother-in-law's face!" However, readers are reminded that the anecdte has been expurgated by the editors. [illustration: Centipede with earmuffs and shoes]
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