DIY History | Transcribe | Hevelin Fanzines | Jupiter, v. 1, issue 1, May 1946

Transcribe
Translate

Jupiter, v. 1, issue 1, May 1946

Page 5

IN DEFENCE OF THE BUG EYED-MONSTER. 
                      BY JOE KENNEDY
   YOU! Yeah, you're the guy I mean! You're sitting there smugly with a sarcastic Leer on your disgusting physiognomy. You're thinking: "Whatta junky fanzine this is! Imagine this sap Kennedy trying to convince ME that BEM's are cute! NERTZ! Sir, you are a cad. Do you realize the the ghastly havoc being caused by your narrow minded stupidity? I shall tell you, you bounder. It is that noblest of creatures that glorious fulfilment of the highest intentions of imaginative literature--the B-E-M!!!!!
   So! Your sneer deepens! I can see that you are one of those nauseating individuals who regard the magnificent Bug-Eyed-Monster as an object of scorn and ridicule. Coma a little closer. Harken to the grains of wisdom about to be imparted.
   Have you ever stopped to consider the sheer artistic signifigance of BEM's??? Then observe. Note the breath-taking color-scheme of an average BEM. Usually A stunning combination of red, purple, orange, and green, blended in a perfect symphony of abstract beauty. Occasionally our subject sports a coat of feathers, scales, or shaggy fur. This allows the artist to give his imagination free run. He whips out his paint brush, sloshes it into a pot of whichever shade is handiest, slams the goo upon canvas, and repeats the operation. Cannot even YOUR feeble mentality appreciate the ecstatic joy of the lowly artist as he slops on the paint, dreaming happily of his pay check and all the beer which it will enable him to purchase???
   But, back to our topic. There is also the morbid or depressive school of BEM-painting. In this case, the monstrousity often has what are known as "sunken eyes". This species may be classes as SEM's, for "Sunken-Eye-Monsters." (No matter what mag you read, it's always the SEM old thing.) The most effective SEM is the type shown submerged deep in the slime and ooze of a Martian swamp, his sunken corneas glaring hatefully at the heroine in the foreground nest to the notation "10 [cents], 15 [cents] in Canada." Such a cover is ideal for attracting little "Diapers" MacDougal, who promptly filches a dime from his ma's purse, buys the mag., reads it under cover of his geography book, and lies awake all night shuddering. Finally he goes Batty and jumps in the cheese-slicer at his local A&P market. Delightful isn't it???
   You look a trifle bored. Very Well! Don't listen to my sage advice! Continue your barbaric indifference toward the saintly BEM!!! Read something else!!! See if I CARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
                 FINISH
            ***************
             FOR SALE
      MIMIOGRAPH STENCILS also other duplicating supplies
   I sell these at special prices to phans. Best quality dry stencils at just $2.70 per quire (24 stencils) sent postpaid to you. There is also a "Fine quality stencil" Jupiter was reproduced with these fine quality stencils. They cost just $2.25 per quire, sent to you postpaid. If wanted in smaller quantities, the "Best quality stencils" may be had for 13 [cents] apiece, and the "Fine quality stencils at" just 11 [cents] apiece Postage must be paid for all orders amounting to less than $1.00 on these stencils. Remittances should be made in check or moneyorder. When ordering C.O.D. please send 10% down.
Order from:
Ron. Maddox
BOX 194
McLean,
Virginia
(5)

Saving...

IN DEFENCE OF THE BUG EYED-MONSTER. BY JOE KENNEDY YOU! Yeah, you're the guy I mean! You're sitting there smugly with a sarcastic Leer on your disgusting physiognomy. You're thinking: "Whatta junky fanzine this is! Imagine this sap Kennedy trying to convince ME that BEM's are cute! NERTZ! Sir, you are a cad. Do you realize the the ghastly havoc being caused by your narrow minded stupidity? I shall tell you, you bounder. It is that noblest of creatures that glorious fulfilment of the highest intentions of imaginative literature--the B-E-M!!!!! So! Your sneer deepens! I can see that you are one of those nauseating individuals who regard the magnificent Bug-Eyed-Monster as an object of scorn and ridicule. Coma a little closer. Harken to the grains of wisdom about to be imparted. Have you ever stopped to consider the sheer artistic signifigance of BEM's??? Then observe. Note the breath-taking color-scheme of an average BEM. Usually A stunning combination of red, purple, orange, and green, blended in a perfect symphony of abstract beauty. Occasionally our subject sports a coat of feathers, scales, or shaggy fur. This allows the artist to give his imagination free run. He whips out his paint brush, sloshes it into a pot of whichever shade is handiest, slams the goo upon canvas, and repeats the operation. Cannot even YOUR feeble mentality appreciate the ecstatic joy of the lowly artist as he slops on the paint, dreaming happily of his pay check and all the beer which it will enable him to purchase??? But, back to our topic. There is also the morbid or depressive school of BEM-painting. In this case, the monstrousity often has what are known as "sunken eyes". This species may be classes as SEM's, for "Sunken-Eye-Monsters." (No matter what mag you read, it's always the SEM old thing.) The most effective SEM is the type shown submerged deep in the slime and ooze of a Martian swamp, his sunken corneas glaring hatefully at the heroine in the foreground nest to the notation "10 [cents], 15 [cents] in Canada." Such a cover is ideal for attracting little "Diapers" MacDougal, who promptly filches a dime from his ma's purse, buys the mag., reads it under cover of his geography book, and lies awake all night shuddering. Finally he goes Batty and jumps in the cheese-slicer at his local A&P market. Delightful isn't it??? You look a trifle bored. Very Well! Don't listen to my sage advice! Continue your barbaric indifference toward the saintly BEM!!! Read something else!!! See if I CARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FINISH *************** FOR SALE MIMIOGRAPH STENCILS also other duplicating supplies I sell these at special prices to phans. Best quality dry stencils at just $2.70 per quire (24 stencils) sent postpaid to you. There is also a "Fine quality stencil" Jupiter was reproduced with these fine quality stencils. They cost just $2.25 per quire, sent to you postpaid. If wanted in smaller quantities, the "Best quality stencils" may be had for 13 [cents] apiece, and the "Fine quality stencils at" just 11 [cents] apiece Postage must be paid for all orders amounting to less than $1.00 on these stencils. Remittances should be made in check or moneyorder. When ordering C.O.D. please send 10% down. Order from: Ron. Maddox BOX 194 McLean, Virginia (5)