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Walt's Wramblings, issue 4, circa 1943
Page 5
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Mother Liebscher's Problem Corner Do you have a problem that has been bothering you, are you in such a mess you don't know whom to turn to? Send in your problems to Mother Liebscher & she will answer your questions for the very slight fee of an old copy of Captain Future. Dear Mother Liebscher: I am a new fan. I want to corespond with adder fans but they wont anser my epissles. I write gud storees to thee prew editors but they allways send my eppics bak to me. Why is fans as self-senterd, don't they want new fans in fandum. Will I be allways slitid. I hav desided to boycot fandum. Will I be rite if I do so. Bobbie Tucker My Dear Little Bobbie: You musn't be so recalcitrant. Fandom is smug, that I admit. You must realize that most fans are highly intelligent. I've noticed errors in your spelling which indicate that you are either a moron or you are very young. My advice to you is this: Get an envelope about 6' by 6', address it - - To: perdition - - get in the envelope and have someone who understands you seal it and mail it. Understandingly - Mother Mother Liebscher: Why do all fans hate me. I have nothing wrong with me, of course I have a bit of under-arm odor, I am ugly and I think no one is as good as I am and I barge in on people when I'm not wanted and I know I'm just too, too clever. So why do fans hate me? Must I be destined to be a wallflower at future conventions? I am so forlorn, what shall I do. DEJECTED My poor Dejected: For the under-arm odor I suggest "Mum", for your ugliness I suggest you have your face lifted. For the rest I suggest you commit suicide. Ghoulishly Ma Liebscher Mom: I'm writing this in jail. You see I stole a book, I wanted this book badly and the man wouldn't sell it, I couldn't resist so I broke into his store - stole it. The worst part is that I didn't even get to read the book. I am ashamed of myself. What can I do to ease my conscience. The book is "Solar Stuff." [signed] Avid Collector Dear Avid Collector: I realize how you felt about that book and am sorry you couldn't resist temptation. I trust and hope your sentence isn't too severe. To ease your conscience I suggest that you send 15 subscriptions to Captain Future to broke and needy fans. Incidentally I can tell you a much better method of getting a book that is so recherche. Check it out of the Public Library and then tell them you lost it. That's how I got my copy. Bookedly yours Mama
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Mother Liebscher's Problem Corner Do you have a problem that has been bothering you, are you in such a mess you don't know whom to turn to? Send in your problems to Mother Liebscher & she will answer your questions for the very slight fee of an old copy of Captain Future. Dear Mother Liebscher: I am a new fan. I want to corespond with adder fans but they wont anser my epissles. I write gud storees to thee prew editors but they allways send my eppics bak to me. Why is fans as self-senterd, don't they want new fans in fandum. Will I be allways slitid. I hav desided to boycot fandum. Will I be rite if I do so. Bobbie Tucker My Dear Little Bobbie: You musn't be so recalcitrant. Fandom is smug, that I admit. You must realize that most fans are highly intelligent. I've noticed errors in your spelling which indicate that you are either a moron or you are very young. My advice to you is this: Get an envelope about 6' by 6', address it - - To: perdition - - get in the envelope and have someone who understands you seal it and mail it. Understandingly - Mother Mother Liebscher: Why do all fans hate me. I have nothing wrong with me, of course I have a bit of under-arm odor, I am ugly and I think no one is as good as I am and I barge in on people when I'm not wanted and I know I'm just too, too clever. So why do fans hate me? Must I be destined to be a wallflower at future conventions? I am so forlorn, what shall I do. DEJECTED My poor Dejected: For the under-arm odor I suggest "Mum", for your ugliness I suggest you have your face lifted. For the rest I suggest you commit suicide. Ghoulishly Ma Liebscher Mom: I'm writing this in jail. You see I stole a book, I wanted this book badly and the man wouldn't sell it, I couldn't resist so I broke into his store - stole it. The worst part is that I didn't even get to read the book. I am ashamed of myself. What can I do to ease my conscience. The book is "Solar Stuff." [signed] Avid Collector Dear Avid Collector: I realize how you felt about that book and am sorry you couldn't resist temptation. I trust and hope your sentence isn't too severe. To ease your conscience I suggest that you send 15 subscriptions to Captain Future to broke and needy fans. Incidentally I can tell you a much better method of getting a book that is so recherche. Check it out of the Public Library and then tell them you lost it. That's how I got my copy. Bookedly yours Mama
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