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Burpocratic Bulletin, issue 1, 1941?

Page 2

WE HAVE A DATE!
by Paynent Pott
R.S.V.P. 22-Sk, I. 2.

Let this that follows then, scare Hell out of you --- and you better watch out!

It was in 2000 B.C. that the "Burpocratic Alliance" began to study belches in the United States. The purpose of getting this data was to show the relationship between belching and Tuberculosis. 

Burpocracy isn't a dream; it's the real McCoy. Only by clear Burpocratic thought can governing society be a smoothie. This was proven as a result of the findings of the "Burpocratic Alliance".

In a few years buildings will fall down, the price of anchovies will soar, measles will break out, razor blades will rust and everything will go to pot -- too, a lot of people will die all at once. Unless --- Oh! yup, there's hope! --- Burpocracy is adopted. Heed it or get it in the neck.

You can kill a lot of people but so does nature! The Laws of Nature, codified and made effective by the Burpocratic Alliance, must be followed, or you will be declared out of order.

All the liquor, magazines, cigarettes and Shirley Temple Dolls that the people of America and Bermuda can use, can be given to everybody by the expending of two hours work by each kiddie in the places aforementioned. So why work anymore? Huh?

Stupid fellows that ask questions, ask: "Will everybody like Burpocracy?" The Question involving tastes, habits, opinions, emotions, etc., is a little harder to deal with. We ignore it and refuse to deal with it. And that's that. You'll take it whether you like ir or not! And that would be a funny farce, to have forced on you the very things that you better want. Or if you don't like it, you'd better bump yourself off, or get deported OR have us bump you off!

A certain machine now in existence will call the cows from the pasture without human touch. If it were used it would throw 28/29ths of all cowboys out of work. There are confetti making machines that will turn out three tons of confetti a minute. If it were used it would throw out of work more than 500 paper tearers who, at the present time, tear each piece of confetti from larger sheets of paper.

Under the Burpate you would lose your right to vote for evil politicians but, instead, would vote for yourself. Thousands of ballot boxes, over incinerators, will be supplied by the Burpate. There you can vote for yourself as much as you want to.

Burpocracy is not concerned with wishful thinking. We have no need of these furrin philosophic importations, like the idea of Democracy, the Monad, and of individual initiative. Any thing furrin is lousy stuff anyway. Look at the French people --- they're all immoral; the English can't get the point of a joke; the Scotch can't spend money.

Whattya want? Sinus Trouble or Corns? Apples or Suckers? Odors or Smells? The Choice if Your's --- but it better be like ours!

Burpocracy alone, offers free stf, magazines!

BURPOCRACY PLAYS AMERICA AND THE PONIES, WIN, PLACE, AND SHOW!

WANTED: Bright, intelligent, clean-cut young fans to join the Burpocratic Alliance and advance The Cause. If you're smart, you'll join. When der tag comes, every member will be a Big Shot in the Burpate. Why waste your talents on such antiquated philosophies as Technocracy, Communism, etc? They're all out of date; no longer exclusive! Become a Burpocrat. Be looked up to by scores of admiring fans! You'll almost be able to hear your ego expand. 

Already, even before the findings of the Burpocratic Alliance have officially been announced to fandom, we have received applications from those fans who have gotten wind of it. Finishing their Burpocracy Home Study Course, they have, after planking down the final payment, become full-fledged Burpocrats. There is room to list only a few: H. Warner, V. Manning, M. Manning, M. Paul, E. Korshak, R. Formanek, etc.

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WE HAVE A DATE! by Paynent Pott R.S.V.P. 22-Sk, I. 2. Let this that follows then, scare Hell out of you --- and you better watch out! It was in 2000 B.C. that the "Burpocratic Alliance" began to study belches in the United States. The purpose of getting this data was to show the relationship between belching and Tuberculosis. Burpocracy isn't a dream; it's the real McCoy. Only by clear Burpocratic thought can governing society be a smoothie. This was proven as a result of the findings of the "Burpocratic Alliance". In a few years buildings will fall down, the price of anchovies will soar, measles will break out, razor blades will rust and everything will go to pot -- too, a lot of people will die all at once. Unless --- Oh! yup, there's hope! --- Burpocracy is adopted. Heed it or get it in the neck. You can kill a lot of people but so does nature! The Laws of Nature, codified and made effective by the Burpocratic Alliance, must be followed, or you will be declared out of order. All the liquor, magazines, cigarettes and Shirley Temple Dolls that the people of America and Bermuda can use, can be given to everybody by the expending of two hours work by each kiddie in the places aforementioned. So why work anymore? Huh? Stupid fellows that ask questions, ask: "Will everybody like Burpocracy?" The Question involving tastes, habits, opinions, emotions, etc., is a little harder to deal with. We ignore it and refuse to deal with it. And that's that. You'll take it whether you like ir or not! And that would be a funny farce, to have forced on you the very things that you better want. Or if you don't like it, you'd better bump yourself off, or get deported OR have us bump you off! A certain machine now in existence will call the cows from the pasture without human touch. If it were used it would throw 28/29ths of all cowboys out of work. There are confetti making machines that will turn out three tons of confetti a minute. If it were used it would throw out of work more than 500 paper tearers who, at the present time, tear each piece of confetti from larger sheets of paper. Under the Burpate you would lose your right to vote for evil politicians but, instead, would vote for yourself. Thousands of ballot boxes, over incinerators, will be supplied by the Burpate. There you can vote for yourself as much as you want to. Burpocracy is not concerned with wishful thinking. We have no need of these furrin philosophic importations, like the idea of Democracy, the Monad, and of individual initiative. Any thing furrin is lousy stuff anyway. Look at the French people --- they're all immoral; the English can't get the point of a joke; the Scotch can't spend money. Whattya want? Sinus Trouble or Corns? Apples or Suckers? Odors or Smells? The Choice if Your's --- but it better be like ours! Burpocracy alone, offers free stf, magazines! BURPOCRACY PLAYS AMERICA AND THE PONIES, WIN, PLACE, AND SHOW! WANTED: Bright, intelligent, clean-cut young fans to join the Burpocratic Alliance and advance The Cause. If you're smart, you'll join. When der tag comes, every member will be a Big Shot in the Burpate. Why waste your talents on such antiquated philosophies as Technocracy, Communism, etc? They're all out of date; no longer exclusive! Become a Burpocrat. Be looked up to by scores of admiring fans! You'll almost be able to hear your ego expand. Already, even before the findings of the Burpocratic Alliance have officially been announced to fandom, we have received applications from those fans who have gotten wind of it. Finishing their Burpocracy Home Study Course, they have, after planking down the final payment, become full-fledged Burpocrats. There is room to list only a few: H. Warner, V. Manning, M. Manning, M. Paul, E. Korshak, R. Formanek, etc.