Transcribe
Translate
Le Zombie, v. 4, issue 6, whole no. 41, August 1941
Back cover
More information
digital collection
archival collection guide
transcription tips
OLIVER KING SMITH CO. "we also walk fans" ASSORTED SERVICES ANNOUNCES the newest addition to its list of Services for fans. DO YOU WANT THE NEXT FAN CONVENTION IN YOUR HOME TOWN?? Of course you do. Everybody does. But why try to swing it alone? Those who have tried -- even tho they succeeded on the surface -- ended up either in trouble or a nervous breakdown! Do you crave MONEY, GLORY, EVERLASTING POPULARITY, FUN, PRESTIGE; Do you wish something that you can BRAG bout for eons afterwards? Now it's easy! Don't go to see the mountain -- bring the mountain to you! Meet the hundred top fans without leaving your back yard! Why leave voting on the next convention to chance? Our methods are time-tested and parliamentary. You can be sure you'll win and it won't even be necessary for you to be there! Enlist the help of our trained staff of experienced workers. They will get the work done efficiently, with a minimum of scandal, legally. Let us take over now--do all the work-- and nine months from now present you with a real live convention! No worry, no work on your part. Sit back, take the bows and publicity. Bask! For a $10 down payment, and convenient time payments thereafter, we: 1) Get popular endorsement; swing public opinion. 2) Crush opposition; silence rude dissenters out of physical reach. (a) If there isn't enough to make things interesting, we will create trouble to be quickly and adeptly quelled. 3) Organize a statewide fan organization with yourself as leader, attend to all detail and publicity work on the club; all dirty work such as purging backward and snoopy members. 4) Insure a record attendance. First day: free. Two days: $5 extra, three days: $10 extra. Good bleachers at ball game: 50c extra. 5) Induce, intimidate, or drag to the scene, three (3) certified celebrities, one (1) super-duper Gueest of Honor, and five (5) troublemakers to be excluded. Editors, $1 apiece extra. 6) Tie up all loose ends, such as auditing a net loss into your books, concealing a net profit into your pockets; publishing a windup issue of your convention fanzine twenty (20) days after it is all over; sending home, pawning off elsewhere, or buying all fans remaining under your roof thirtysix (36) hours after expiration of the convention. 7) Keep writing articles on the convention (under the names of famous fans) up unto one month of the date of the next convention on our books. 8) Make a martyr of you untill your final monthly payment.
Saving...
prev
next
OLIVER KING SMITH CO. "we also walk fans" ASSORTED SERVICES ANNOUNCES the newest addition to its list of Services for fans. DO YOU WANT THE NEXT FAN CONVENTION IN YOUR HOME TOWN?? Of course you do. Everybody does. But why try to swing it alone? Those who have tried -- even tho they succeeded on the surface -- ended up either in trouble or a nervous breakdown! Do you crave MONEY, GLORY, EVERLASTING POPULARITY, FUN, PRESTIGE; Do you wish something that you can BRAG bout for eons afterwards? Now it's easy! Don't go to see the mountain -- bring the mountain to you! Meet the hundred top fans without leaving your back yard! Why leave voting on the next convention to chance? Our methods are time-tested and parliamentary. You can be sure you'll win and it won't even be necessary for you to be there! Enlist the help of our trained staff of experienced workers. They will get the work done efficiently, with a minimum of scandal, legally. Let us take over now--do all the work-- and nine months from now present you with a real live convention! No worry, no work on your part. Sit back, take the bows and publicity. Bask! For a $10 down payment, and convenient time payments thereafter, we: 1) Get popular endorsement; swing public opinion. 2) Crush opposition; silence rude dissenters out of physical reach. (a) If there isn't enough to make things interesting, we will create trouble to be quickly and adeptly quelled. 3) Organize a statewide fan organization with yourself as leader, attend to all detail and publicity work on the club; all dirty work such as purging backward and snoopy members. 4) Insure a record attendance. First day: free. Two days: $5 extra, three days: $10 extra. Good bleachers at ball game: 50c extra. 5) Induce, intimidate, or drag to the scene, three (3) certified celebrities, one (1) super-duper Gueest of Honor, and five (5) troublemakers to be excluded. Editors, $1 apiece extra. 6) Tie up all loose ends, such as auditing a net loss into your books, concealing a net profit into your pockets; publishing a windup issue of your convention fanzine twenty (20) days after it is all over; sending home, pawning off elsewhere, or buying all fans remaining under your roof thirtysix (36) hours after expiration of the convention. 7) Keep writing articles on the convention (under the names of famous fans) up unto one month of the date of the next convention on our books. 8) Make a martyr of you untill your final monthly payment.
Hevelin Fanzines
sidebar
