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Daily Iowan, December 19, 1918

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THE DAILY IOWAN STATE UNIVERSITY OF IOWA
Thursday, December 19, 1919
THE DAILY IOWAN
The Student Newspaper of the State University of Iowa
MEMBER IOWA COLLEGE PRESS
A morning paper published for the period of the war three times a week Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday by The Daily Iowa Publishing company at 103 Iowa avenue, Iowa City
Entered as second class matter at the post office of Iowa City, Iowa
Subscription Rate $2.00 per year
BOARD OF TRUSTEES
C. H. Weller, chairman, E. M. McEwen, E. S. Smith, Gretchen Kane, Alice Hinkley, M. Elizabeth Hendee, Mary Anderson
EDITORIAL STAFF
Editor-in-chief Mildred E. Whitcomb Telephone Black 1757 Office Hours 8 to 12: 1 to 6 daily, Room 14, L. A. building
Managing editor Rowena Wellman
News Editor Agnes Kingsbury
Humorous Editor Elizabeth Hendee
Exchange Editor Ethyn Williams
Feature Editor Ruth Stewart
Sporting Editor G. D. Evans
Night Editor Ethyn Williams
Assisted by M. Elizabeth Hendee
BUSINESS STAFF
Romola Latchen Business Manager
Telephone 935
Office Hours daily, 103 Iowa Avenue
"I have never had a policy. I have simply tried to do what seemed best each day as each day came." Lincoln
DEMOBILIZATION
     While the gloom was at its height, when it seemed that Christmas vacation for the S. A. T. C. would mean forty-eight hours leave, information came that demobilization could proceed at top speed and that all men are to be released by Christmas.
     What a rift in the cloud of depression! After weeks of "watchful waiting" while men in other schools were being returned to civilian life, discharge will mean almost a new lease on life to the boys.
     Coming on the heels of the information that all discharges were to stop for an indefinite period, demobilization will mean even more.
     The military epoch of the University is over, and at last Iowa is a civilian school again. Boys are no longer subject to military restrictions; they are students again, as of yore.

THEIR MONUMENT
     The University is proud of the record her men have made in the service of our country. In France, on the field of battle, in the great cantonments, on the seas, in the air, they have distinguished themselves.
     Our hearts are filled with appreciation of what they have done; we are gratified by their achievements, in the accomplishment of the greatest task ever attempted by men.
     We tell them of our gratitude, but words cannot suffice. For some of our brave men will never return, and to them we cannot offer our praise. It is only proper that we erect a fitting monument to show to generations to come, the pride we feel in our fallen heroes.
     They have died for us all, gladly, cheerfully. We shall prove to them that their supreme sacrifice has been offered to grateful heart. Before many months have passed a lasting monument should dominate this campus, an evidence of loyalty to our men who have given their all.

IOWA FIGHTS!
     No one who really knows the University, who loves it, can fail to imbibe some of that glorious spirit.
     Another of our boys has carried our motto with him to France and has died for the cause of democracy. When he was one of us in school as he is now in spirit, he was well known in the field of athletics. He has shown the spirit of old in what he has done over there.
     He died that the world might be free, that people might enjoy privileges, that universities might continue under the kindly regime of liberty, that the University of Iowa might grow greater and more worthy of its brave men who have gone forth to fight the world's battles.
     Frank Grubb died a hero's death. In his bravery he has given us all a greater conception of the words, "Iowa Fights!"

B.I.F.F.
     There has long existed and thrived on nothing an unknown but vast, far-reaching brotherhood whose influence on the thought and action of the times is all but immeasurable! Great are the Secrets of the organization, deep and solemn its Mysteries, wise beyond wisdom its Knowledge and advice! We refer to the Academic Organization of the Followers of the Philosophy of Vagueness. After long and profound deliberation the members of the Grand Exalted High Celestial Uplifted Glorious Council have decided that Knowledge kept concealed is useless, and have given to B. I. F. F. the authority to publish from time to time, for the express benefit of students of S. U. I., bits of wisdom gleaned from the Grand High Whatchamacallit Book of Records.
     The committee entrusted with the task of publication has considered long and carefully, and held many meetings in many of which scarcely a word has been spoken, so deep and profound has been the thinking. The committee desires above all things to choose a passage that will express with accuracy some of the tenets of the Philosophy of Vagueness, &- a philosophy developed from pre-war tendencies of academic thought, and based as yet upon the realization of the time, labor, and thought-saving advantages of vagueness, volubility, indefiniteness, verbosity, and bluff. To many laymen the acquirement of these qualities seems difficult, but the Vaguists feel that they have many of the secrets of success. After deliberation the committee has chosen as its first selection a piece of advice found in Chapter I, Book 4, Section 7, Article 12, Stanza 3, Line 96, of the Book of Records. The words are from the essay on "How to Fain a Reputation for Wisdom," or, "The Royal Road to Learning." The writer says,
     "Have you no talent for mathematics? Are you weak in science, and terrified at the thought of a dozen definite facts to learn? Then hearken unto me, my brethren, and I shall tell you how to gain the reputation of a wise man and a philosopher, one whose opinion on all affairs of religion, thought, and politics is to be solemnly respected. The rules are very simple, and they are only eight.
     1. Doubt every speaker you hear, especially if he be a real authority. Do this with an air of tolerant thoughtfulness, but firm conviction. An excellent provision for all answering argument is to end each important remark with "on the other hand-"
     2. Criticize every great writer, whether poet, novelist, or philosopher. A few choice sentences may be gleaned from lectures, reviews, or books, and, with care, may be made to last a lifetime.
     3. Make frequent use of words and phrases as reaction evolution, inhibition, subjective, genetic hypothetical, volitional, and many more that may be learned.
     4. Never agree wholly with any one person or creed.
     5. Never make a definite statement.
     6. Never go to church.
     7. Never read the Post or B. L. T.
     8. Cultivate a bored expression and a distant smile."

TO ORGANIZE MEN'S GLEE CLUB
Organizing of the men's glee club will be postponed until the beginning of next quarter because of the demobilization of the S. A. T. C. Unusual interest is being shown in this work, according to Prof. W. E. Hays, director. Over 100 applications have been received to date.

DAINTY LUNCHES
between or after classes:
Drop into
WHITING'S PHARMACY
On Dubuque St.

.GARDEN.
CORINNE GRIFFITH
"THE CLUTCH OF CIRCUMSTANCE"
also
GOOD COMEDY
Open under Board of Health regulations

Quality Drugs
Whetstones
Quality Sodas

T. DELL KELLEY
Tailoring, cleaning, repairing, and pressing. We do all kinds of alterations and repair work on ladies' and men's clothing.
PHONE 17
221 EAST COLLEGE

Victor
"HIS MASTER'S VOICE"
REG U.S. PAT OFF
     Will there be a Victrola in your home this Christmas?
     Will Santa Claus be good enough to bring you the instrument of supreme usefulness this year-to cheer, to inspire, to impart comfort and hope in these trying times? Surely you need the ministry of music as never before; and the Victrola will bring it right into your home-for Christmas day, and every day that follows.
Come and tell us your Victrola wants.
We Santa Claus's messenger.

Book and Craft
...Shop...
Christmas Greeting Cards
Stationery Books
Novelties
Pictures Pottery Lamps
124 East Washington Street
HARMONY HALL

Saving...

PAGE TWO THE DAILY IOWAN STATE UNIVERSITY OF IOWA Thursday, December 19, 1919 THE DAILY IOWAN The Student Newspaper of the State University of Iowa MEMBER IOWA COLLEGE PRESS A morning paper published for the period of the war three times a week Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday by The Daily Iowa Publishing company at 103 Iowa avenue, Iowa City Entered as second class matter at the post office of Iowa City, Iowa Subscription Rate $2.00 per year BOARD OF TRUSTEES C. H. Weller, chairman, E. M. McEwen, E. S. Smith, Gretchen Kane, Alice Hinkley, M. Elizabeth Hendee, Mary Anderson EDITORIAL STAFF Editor-in-chief Mildred E. Whitcomb Telephone Black 1757 Office Hours 8 to 12: 1 to 6 daily, Room 14, L. A. building Managing editor Rowena Wellman News Editor Agnes Kingsbury Humorous Editor Elizabeth Hendee Exchange Editor Ethyn Williams Feature Editor Ruth Stewart Sporting Editor G. D. Evans Night Editor Ethyn Williams Assisted by M. Elizabeth Hendee BUSINESS STAFF Romola Latchen Business Manager Telephone 935 Office Hours daily, 103 Iowa Avenue "I have never had a policy. I have simply tried to do what seemed best each day as each day came." Lincoln DEMOBILIZATION While the gloom was at its height, when it seemed that Christmas vacation for the S. A. T. C. would mean forty-eight hours leave, information came that demobilization could proceed at top speed and that all men are to be released by Christmas. What a rift in the cloud of depression! After weeks of "watchful waiting" while men in other schools were being returned to civilian life, discharge will mean almost a new lease on life to the boys. Coming on the heels of the information that all discharges were to stop for an indefinite period, demobilization will mean even more. The military epoch of the University is over, and at last Iowa is a civilian school again. Boys are no longer subject to military restrictions; they are students again, as of yore. THEIR MONUMENT The University is proud of the record her men have made in the service of our country. In France, on the field of battle, in the great cantonments, on the seas, in the air, they have distinguished themselves. Our hearts are filled with appreciation of what they have done; we are gratified by their achievements, in the accomplishment of the greatest task ever attempted by men. We tell them of our gratitude, but words cannot suffice. For some of our brave men will never return, and to them we cannot offer our praise. It is only proper that we erect a fitting monument to show to generations to come, the pride we feel in our fallen heroes. They have died for us all, gladly, cheerfully. We shall prove to them that their supreme sacrifice has been offered to grateful heart. Before many months have passed a lasting monument should dominate this campus, an evidence of loyalty to our men who have given their all. IOWA FIGHTS! No one who really knows the University, who loves it, can fail to imbibe some of that glorious spirit. Another of our boys has carried our motto with him to France and has died for the cause of democracy. When he was one of us in school as he is now in spirit, he was well known in the field of athletics. He has shown the spirit of old in what he has done over there. He died that the world might be free, that people might enjoy privileges, that universities might continue under the kindly regime of liberty, that the University of Iowa might grow greater and more worthy of its brave men who have gone forth to fight the world's battles. Frank Grubb died a hero's death. In his bravery he has given us all a greater conception of the words, "Iowa Fights!" B.I.F.F. There has long existed and thrived on nothing an unknown but vast, far-reaching brotherhood whose influence on the thought and action of the times is all but immeasurable! Great are the Secrets of the organization, deep and solemn its Mysteries, wise beyond wisdom its Knowledge and advice! We refer to the Academic Organization of the Followers of the Philosophy of Vagueness. After long and profound deliberation the members of the Grand Exalted High Celestial Uplifted Glorious Council have decided that Knowledge kept concealed is useless, and have given to B. I. F. F. the authority to publish from time to time, for the express benefit of students of S. U. I., bits of wisdom gleaned from the Grand High Whatchamacallit Book of Records. The committee entrusted with the task of publication has considered long and carefully, and held many meetings in many of which scarcely a word has been spoken, so deep and profound has been the thinking. The committee desires above all things to choose a passage that will express with accuracy some of the tenets of the Philosophy of Vagueness, &- a philosophy developed from pre-war tendencies of academic thought, and based as yet upon the realization of the time, labor, and thought-saving advantages of vagueness, volubility, indefiniteness, verbosity, and bluff. To many laymen the acquirement of these qualities seems difficult, but the Vaguists feel that they have many of the secrets of success. After deliberation the committee has chosen as its first selection a piece of advice found in Chapter I, Book 4, Section 7, Article 12, Stanza 3, Line 96, of the Book of Records. The words are from the essay on "How to Fain a Reputation for Wisdom," or, "The Royal Road to Learning." The writer says, "Have you no talent for mathematics? Are you weak in science, and terrified at the thought of a dozen definite facts to learn? Then hearken unto me, my brethren, and I shall tell you how to gain the reputation of a wise man and a philosopher, one whose opinion on all affairs of religion, thought, and politics is to be solemnly respected. The rules are very simple, and they are only eight. 1. Doubt every speaker you hear, especially if he be a real authority. Do this with an air of tolerant thoughtfulness, but firm conviction. An excellent provision for all answering argument is to end each important remark with "on the other hand-" 2. Criticize every great writer, whether poet, novelist, or philosopher. A few choice sentences may be gleaned from lectures, reviews, or books, and, with care, may be made to last a lifetime. 3. Make frequent use of words and phrases as reaction evolution, inhibition, subjective, genetic hypothetical, volitional, and many more that may be learned. 4. Never agree wholly with any one person or creed. 5. Never make a definite statement. 6. Never go to church. 7. Never read the Post or B. L. T. 8. Cultivate a bored expression and a distant smile." TO ORGANIZE MEN'S GLEE CLUB Organizing of the men's glee club will be postponed until the beginning of next quarter because of the demobilization of the S. A. T. C. Unusual interest is being shown in this work, according to Prof. W. E. Hays, director. Over 100 applications have been received to date. DAINTY LUNCHES between or after classes: Drop into WHITING'S PHARMACY On Dubuque St. .GARDEN. CORINNE GRIFFITH "THE CLUTCH OF CIRCUMSTANCE" also GOOD COMEDY Open under Board of Health regulations Quality Drugs Whetstones Quality Sodas T. DELL KELLEY Tailoring, cleaning, repairing, and pressing. We do all kinds of alterations and repair work on ladies' and men's clothing. PHONE 17 221 EAST COLLEGE Victor "HIS MASTER'S VOICE" REG U.S. PAT OFF Will there be a Victrola in your home this Christmas? Will Santa Claus be good enough to bring you the instrument of supreme usefulness this year-to cheer, to inspire, to impart comfort and hope in these trying times? Surely you need the ministry of music as never before; and the Victrola will bring it right into your home-for Christmas day, and every day that follows. Come and tell us your Victrola wants. We Santa Claus's messenger. Book and Craft ...Shop... Christmas Greeting Cards Stationery Books Novelties Pictures Pottery Lamps 124 East Washington Street HARMONY HALL